I have moments throughout the week when I overwhelm myself unnecessarily. I will sit at my desk or the kitchen table and think about everything I have to do. That quickly spirals out of control. I start thinking about what I haven't done yet, the goals I haven't reached, the stuff I should do, the length of my Bodacious To-Do Lists, all the stuff I'd love to do, etc. Within a relatively short period of time, my anxiety is blowing through the roof.
Lisa continuously reminds me that I'm my own worst enemy. At times, it irritates me because I know this. It's a trait of mine that I've battled for many years. I've gotten better, but I still have a ways to go.
Then, she also reminds me that sometimes, you can't do it all.
You. Can't. Do. It. All.
I repeat those words in my head over and over and over until my breathing relaxes and I feel lighter.
Throughout the conversation that proceeds, Lisa reminds me of other stuff too...
"You're a Work at Home Dog Mom. You have double-duty. You take care of our kids when I'm at work and you get work stuff done while doing that. You're running back and forth from the workshop and home office.
You're also making homemade meals and snacks for us and the kids. On top of that, you do housework and pick up after me and the kids. You're up later than us and you get up earlier than us.
You don't get a day off. You work through most of the weekend. You're not sleeping well. You're dealing with unnecessary distractions most days. You're always doing nice things for people when they're sick or feeling down or need a helping hand.
Your busiest season is right around the corner. You've got a lot on your mind and your plate.
And I know we've learned a lot of tough lessons this year. One of those lessons is that people tend to scatter when the tables are turned. We can't change that, but we can learn from our experiences and adjust things accordingly.
Focus on what you need and want to do and exhale a bit because a lot of what we did this year, we're not doing next year."
I need these pep talks from time to time.
It's hard to put things in perspective when I'm in the middle of the chaos and being unnecessarily overwhelmed and, at times, dealing with the crippling self-doubt.
I need to be reminded to pull back every once in a while.
To be on the outside looking in.
Sure, maybe I didn't get the dishes done or the carpets vacuumed by the time Lisa got home from work or I only got 9 pieces of DIY Dog Mom Projects painted instead of 12.
Instead of kicking my ass for not getting it done, I need to take those few steps back. Take a look at why I didn't get it done.
Maybe there was a thunderstorm that day. When we get storms, I stop what I'm doing to be there for the kids.
Maybe the kids were restless and needed the extra play or snuggle time.
Maybe I had a lot of emails or messages that I needed to tend to.
Maybe I had a lot more to do in the kitchen than I did the day before.
There are a lot of factors.
I'm seriously considering making a sign to hang somewhere in our home.
To remind me...
Not to sweat the small stuff.
Yesterday is done and over with.
Tomorrow isn't here yet.
All we have is today.
You can't do it all.
And, that's okay.
Exhale.
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