Friday, January 13, 2017

I'm Not Going To Apologize. The Road Travels Both Ways.


I'm a little distraught today. Saddened. Disappointed. I'm not exactly sure how to address it. In the past, when I've written about how certain people and organizations have impacted our lives, both good and bad, I've been tactful enough to leave certain details out. Those details include names of both persons or organizations involved. I write. I vent. I publish accordingly. I walk away thinking, "If the shoe fits, wear it." The same holds true for today, but it hits me a little closer to home.

Over 4 years ago, when we adopted Coco, our life changed immediately. Coco was in poor shape and required one of us home at all times. That was easy enough. I work at home. However, right around that time, we had previously made a commitment. When Coco joined our family, we had to improvise a bit with this particular commitment.

That didn't go over well. 

What balanced things out was that after Coco was on the mend, we were able to take him with us when traveling out of state to visit family.

When Sophie joined our family in June of 2014, our life changed once again. We now had 2 rescue kids. It didn't take us long to realize that Sophie feared loud noises. Wind. Thunderstorms. Loud motorcycles. Fireworks. When there are thunderstorms, or neighbors shoot off fireworks, she goes into convulsions.

Our Spring and Summer plans revolve around the weather. If storms are predicted, one of us is always home. We hunker down the weekend before, of, and after the 4th of July. Etc.

We also bid farewell to taking off for the day to visit family out of state or weekend and week-long vacations. We were, and still are, more than okay with that.

Almost 2 years ago, when Lobo joined our family, our life changed even more drastically.

Between having 3 rescue kids, all of which can't be left home alone for more than a few hours at a time, our personal decision to not board any of our kids, and our newly adopted addition Olivia, escaping for the entire day, a weekend, or week is absolutely not an option.

With that being said...

Twice a year, Lisa travels to N.H. to visit her family for the day or overnight. And, if there's a family emergency, Lisa will make the journey to N.H. on short notice. I stay home with the kids.

For the past four years, the family has traveled down here to visit with us twice a year.

So far, that's worked out well. Lisa travels north twice a year. They travel down here twice a year.

When I say "family" I'm purposely using that word to avoid pointing fingers at the specific family members I'm referring to. 

Last year, something changed. Lisa went up multiple times. It was a mix of visiting and paying respects after the deaths of family and a friend.

We extended invitations several times for family members to come down for dinner, drinks, and to spend the day with us.

Towards the end of last year, I realized it had been over a year since anyone had come down to visit. They extended an invitation for us to go up for the day, but that's not an option.

Last week, I gave them an open invitation to come down for the day for a nice dinner, some wine, and a few games of cards.

This was a portion of the reply...

"Don’t know about going down.  You girls are welcomed to come up here for a day.  It would be nice to have you both here for a change.  You can even bring one of the dogs like Lisa had mentioned."

I'm not criticizing the sender. I happen to love these people. They're good people with hearts of gold. I've known them for a long, long time. I wish we all lived much closer. And, I do understand the past few months have been difficult with unfortunate events.

That doesn't mean I wasn't thrown back a bit by their reply. A little heartbroken. Maybe even a little pissed.

I'm not going to apologize for having any of our rescue kids.

I'm not going to apologize for being realistic. Taking off for the day, with the commute time alone being 5+ hours, is not something we can do together.

I'm not going to apologize for our life.

I'm not going to apologize for the decisions we've made.

I'm not going to apologize for the twinge of disgust when I read, "You can even bring one of the dogs..."

I'm not going to apologize for writing this.

If this post upsets anyone, I'm not going to apologize for that either.

I'm not going to apologize for anything.

The road travels both ways...

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