Wednesday, August 23, 2023

10 Reasons Why I Do Not Want A Big Party For My 50th Birthday

When Lisa celebrated her last 40-something birthday, we had a party in our backyard. Lots of people. A backyard fire. Lots of scrumptious food. Music. It was a celebration that made memories. 

For Lisa's Big 50th birthday party, it was so much more. Lots more people. A talented local artist who played guitar and belted out his voice. An array of scrumptious food. A short burst of rain. Loud music after the live entertainment. Dancing. A few shots. Raffles and gifts for the guests. Etc...

It was definitely a day and night to remember. 

Last year, in December, I celebrated my last 40-something birthday. Lisa took the week off. That entire week, Lisa and our kids spoiled me with daily surprises and goodies. My favorite foods. A couple of hours here and there with just Lisa outside of our home. Lots of family snuggle time on the sofa. 

At the time, our sweet Sophie wasn't doing so well. She had an appointment on the day of my birthday. The news was grim, but what we expected. Canine Dementia. 

Despite the news, we made the best of it and enjoyed every second with our kids. Us. Celebrating love and life and our family. 

This year, I will be celebrating my 50th birthday. Lisa has asked me several times if I wanted a big 50th birthday bash. I have tossed the idea around back and forth. Over and over and over again. I have talked myself into it and talked myself out of it more times than I care to admit. 

With less than 4 months until my big 50th Birthday, I have made a final decision. 


I do not want a big 50th Birthday Bash. 

And here is why...

1. What happened a couple of years ago on my birthday. You can read about that here

2. The time and effort. Lisa doesn't cook or bake. She is the best sous-chef. However, despite her expertise in that department, making food for a large group is time-consuming. For the both of us. 

3. Before and After. Between prep, the day before, the day of, and the day after, it's a lot of work. Too much work. That is 3 days right there. On the 4th day, we're both completely exhausted. 

4. Our kids. They're older. Coco is a senior. He's 13. His health isn't that great. Lobo is a senior too and his single hind leg (which never had full mobility), isn't as strong as it used to be. He has his good days and not-so-good days. Willa, well, she's just Willa. Leaving them for any length of time or putting them in the bedroom for the duration of a party would not be fair or feasible. 

5. Who would we invite? I published a blog column earlier this year about being a popular loner. You can read that here. That should explain a lot. 

6. Catering is out of the question. Lisa suggested looking into catering services. Although I appreciate her generous offer, I simply just can't. In a nutshell, we both have attended catered events over the years. We know a small fortune was spent on the food. At best, it wasn't the greatest. Or, even good. I know with every ounce of my being that we can make the scrumptious food for a whole lot cheaper. However, refer to reason number 2 and 3. 

I do need to mention that there was one catered event that we attended a few years ago that is an exception. Oddly enough, it was to celebrate the Big 50 for a sweet friend of ours. The food was exceptional. 

7. Germs and more germs. December is right around the peak of cold and flu season. And COVID-19 is still lurking. I know germs and such are unavoidable, however, a big gathering during the height of the germ fest isn't the smartest thing. 

8. Is it wrong to embrace simplicity? We embrace the simple things in life. We always have. But. More so over the past 5 years. And. Especially since we bought our home in 2020. We have lived. We have learned. We no longer have an itch to have big parties to commemorate milestones or rites of passages. Or. To simply entertain. This is the point where I have to ask myself, "What is the point of having a Big 50th Birthday Bash?" People will show up. Probably lots of people. But. Why?

9. I have no desire to impress anyone or flirt with the waters of popularity. I have lost count of how many times people on my Facebook friend's list have posted photo dumps of "Big 50th Birthday Party Bashes." They are often over the top and celebratory and last for days. I am genuinely happy for those people. And, for others who have parties to celebrate their many trips around the sun. At this point in my life, our life, it is about simplicity. Quality over quantity. 

10. The truth. After the back and forth and doing a little soul searching, I was finally able to summarize everything for Lisa when she asked again. Here is what I said...

"At the end of the day, what matters to me the most is spending my Big 50th at the place I love the most. With those I love the very most. That is here. Our home. With you. Our kids. Those are the memories I want to make. That is enough."

That. Is. The. Truth. 

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