Friday, December 27, 2019

The Mug That Gave Me A Lot Of Clarity

Lisa bought me this mug almost 2 weeks ago. It was filled with Andes Mints. But. Those are gone by now because that is one of my few favorite candies. Since she presented me with this mug, it's the mug I drink my morning coffee out of. And, I know that she purchased this for me because of a few things going on. It was a gift to remind myself to add humor and laugh at those particular situations.

Lisa is great like that.

Usually, during the month of December, I get hyper reflective about the year prior. I think about the goals I set, the goals I have reached, the goals I did not, the reasons why, etc.

This year was a bit different.

This year, my reflective state has been clouded over with situations that have happened over the past 6 months or so.

Especially over the past couple of months.


A big situation that happened last month. 

Day by day, we have been both processing those situations. 

Lisa and I have had a lot of conversations about these situations.

We deal with things differently, but at the end of the day, we take a step into each other's shoes. 

Step back. 

Take peek from the outside looking in.

During this process, we have learned quite a bit.

We have taken many steps forward. Together. On how to handle these situations because we have learned that no matter what we say, it falls on deaf ears. 

Some people are unwilling to take off their rose colored glasses.

All in all, at the end of the day, we had 2 choices...

The first, stay silent, continue to put up with the bullshit, and continue with the merriment.

The second, speak up, go to the source, stand our ground, and hope for the best. 

We opted for the second option because enough was enough. 

As the saying goes, "Be careful with what you tolerate. You're teaching them how to treat you."

And, "What you allow is what will continue."

Sadly and unfortunately, the second option was not met with open arms.

That. Is. Okay.

We know where we stand. 

Yeah. It hurts. 

It hurts a whole lot. 


We've got this. 

Lisa and I have known each other for well over 2 decades. 

We are strong. 

This year and 2020 is kind of symbolic. 

For so many reasons. 

We both began this decade with lots of trials and tribulations. 

We made it because we are strong, wise, older, and we have both seen rock bottom. 


It marks a decade of reaching out. Connecting. Realizing that the foundation that we planted over 2 decades was stronger than ever.

We did it. 

It was not easy.

But, we did it. 

We will continue to do it again. 

You live. You learn. You become wiser. 


Underestimate us. 

That. Will. Be. Fun. 

And, going into the New Year. The New Decade.

I've added to my mantras...

"You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better." 

By Anne Lamott.


"Just because you lost me as a friend, doesn't mean you gained me as an enemy. I am bigger than that. I still wanna see you eat, just not at my table." 

By Tupac Shakur.

That. Is. All. For. Now. 

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