Friday, May 11, 2018

No More Rest And Recovery Day Five - I'm Done Being Sick. Lisa Is On Vacation. That. Is. All.

I woke up at 3:30 this morning. Made Lisa's lunch, coffee, and breakfast. My voice is coming back. My chest feels a lot lighter. The pain isn't quite as bad. I don't feel nearly as fatigued as I have all week. In fact, I have a little energy. I smelled my coffee brewing. I had a little perk in my step. From experience, I know to avoid going full throttle at the first signs of feeling better. However, that's not going to stop me from avoiding the sofa at all costs today.

No, I'm not going to paint. I promised Lisa I wouldn't. 

I haven't quite decided what I'm going to do today. There are a million things to do because I've been sick and out of commission all week. In addition, Our Big Bodacious Painting Project will be starting tomorrow.

What I have decided to do before anything else is sip coffee at my desk and share some of the conclusions I've come up with. These conclusions stem from the difficult questions I had to ask myself earlier in the week. More so, it involved going face to face with the honest, uncomfortable answers.

1. I had it all backward. For as long as I can remember, I've always given people the benefit of the doubt that they'll match our efforts. For example, and hypothetically speaking, let's say our neighbor is building a shed. We take an entire afternoon to assist them. By that evening, the shed is not only built, but it's painted. 

Several months down the road, Lisa and I decide to build a shed. The same neighbor walks over, chats with us for a bit about our shed, then bids farewell and goes on with their day. It takes Lisa and I the entire weekend to build the shed. 

The following month, our shed building neighbor decides to build a second shed. At this point, despite the lack of help when we were building our shed and because Lisa and I are kind people, we struggle with the big question. Should we help out or should we let our neighbor build the shed alone?

We were raised to help others out without expecting anything in return. And trust me, we do. However, where do you draw that line? Eventually, and especially with those who suffer from the "Me Me Me" Syndrome, you'll become a doormat. 

I don't want to become those people who expect things in return, but I'm sick and tired of giving our all only to be greeted with minimal effort. So I'm grasping on to an entirely different philosophy. Instead of being disappointed when people don't match our efforts, we're simply going to match theirs. 

2. Walking on eggshells is just as irritating as stepping on Legos or a chewed up NylaBone. In this day and age, the younger generation is offended by what us "older folk" have to say. Tough shit. You can label us as old-fashioned, mean, strict, insensitive, whatever. We had to deal with the same, only ten times harder, a few decades ago when our elders were on our asses. But, you know what? We lived. We learned. We respected their wise words. We survived. 

We grew up to be productive, hardworking adults who respected our elders and knew better than to talk back or slack off. We may have not liked what they said to us or the consequences dealt out if we challenged them, but oh well. 

I'm beyond proud of the women Lisa and I have become. We're both hardworking adults and that has stemmed from being hardworking teens and young adults and the elders who have guided us. We work hard for what we have. We go above and beyond. 

We've been at the bottom of the well, and eaten dirt from the bottom of the well, and made a comeback many times. We know that nothing will ever be handed to us. We know that success only comes from hard work, dedication, compromise, sacrifice, and everything between.

We will no longer be walking on eggshells around the younger generation who can't handle our morals, ethics, and honesty. We're not going to powder asses or provide a comfort pad. Life is life. It's beyond hard. Harder than it was when we started out decades ago. Buckle up. Suck up and deal, cupcakes. Eventually, the plastic bubble you've surrounded yourself in will burst. 

3. My Work Hours are from 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. I am beyond grateful to be a Work at Home Dog Mom.
My position in the "work at home" workforce is why our family has been able to expand. BUT, as a Work at Home Dog Mom, that does NOT translate to me being available for stupid shit. A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. 

Aside from my "at home" Work at Home Dog Mom stuff, I have a few things I do throughout the day that is part of my workday. I take those daily tasks very seriously. And, I always leave a bit o' wiggle room each day for stuff that comes up.

But, that "stuff that comes up" is not for petty things. 

4. My tongue is candid and honest 24/7. It's all or nothing. I will no longer be biting my tongue. I am only responsible for what I say, NOT for what you understand. I've had so many people love and applaud me for my honest tongue, but when it hits too close to home, that's when the shit hits the fan. I get the proverbial "this is off limits" hands-in-the-air. Or, I'm told, "I don't want to discuss this anymore."

I'm done with that. This is who I am. This is who I've always been. I'm not mean. I am not a bully. My doors are always open for your honest feedback and candidness. 

I'm done walking on eggshells. I'm done catering to the hyper-sensitive younger generation and the parents enabling their behavior. I feel guilty for the number of times I've told Lisa, "Don't say that...."

It ends now.

5. My love is unconditional. I expect the same from you. There will be good times and bad. Health. Sickness. Meltdowns. I will see you at your worst and at your best. I will hear things you say that you think I didn't hear. To those I love unconditionally, that's already happened. Well, I'm human. Just like you. Remember that. 

6. I will no longer apologize for certain things. That includes saying "no" and putting time aside for Lisa and me to enjoy life and celebrating those milestones that no one else deems celebratory. Etc. I will also no longer apologize for being me. I will not begin sentences with, "In all due respect..." or "Please don't be offended, but..."  

7. Our busy is just as important as your busy. Need I say more?

8. I will be charging work fees accordingly. I am going to reexamine the work I'm doing for my current and previous clients and figure out the amount of work I am doing versus what I am getting compensated for. This will extend from "me" to "we." 

I (we) have gotten shortchanged MANY, MANY times over the past few years. 

I just went over my personal finances for the past year. For most of the past year, I was getting paid much less than what I should have.

This is going to come to a screeching halt.  

9. I'm getting my shit together with or without your support. That includes all of the above. I'm in the process of building my own business of becoming a professional pet blogger and that stems from the experience from over a decade of work. 

I'm also in the process of writing a couple of books. 

My dedicated work hours will contribute greatly to that (see #3). After Our Big Bodacious Painting Project next week, I expect that to fall into place.

I hope that people will respect that. 

I have bent over backward since 2011 and beyond for a lot of people. As of June 1st, my considerations will be within a much tighter reign. 

We're also continuing to strive towards the greater good. My work hours are a part of that. 

10. I'm going to become unapologetically yours. Love me. Hate. Me. I don't care. I'll be 45 this year. It'll mark the 30th year in which I have pretty much been on my own. I have been through hell and back many times. I have fallen face first to the bottom of the well and beyond more times than I care to admit. 

I lived on the streets in the dead of winter within the first 3 months after turning 18. If it wasn't for my friends finding me one evening on a park bench during a massive snowstorm when I was really sick, I wouldn't be here writing this. 

When I was  18 and 19, I worked fulltime, lived on my own, and went to college for the first of my 3 degrees. I walked to my job AND to school. I ate peanut butter sandwiches, carob coated rice cakes, and all the homegrown produce my friends provided to me. I survived off of 4 hours of sleep per day. I scraped by. But, I did it. 

I am who I am today because of what I went through. I'm proud of the woman I am today. Yes, I have a candid and brutally honest tongue, but I'm no longer going to apologize for that. Because, if I did, then I would be apologizing for who I am.

I am also proud of my wife who has been working since a young age. She rode her bike to and from work, paid for her first car, fulfilled the responsibilities of home life, and earned the money for the extras and then some. She's a phenomenal woman.

We both came from parents who had a stern hand and raised us right. With dignity. Pride. Stellar work morals and ethics. They taught us to respect our elders. To work hard. To do good in school whether we liked it or not. To earn a living. To earn our place in this world. They raised us to work for what we had. To not expect others to support us. To not take what's provided for granted. And, to never, ever act as if you're entitled when provisions and luxury items/services are provided that you did not earn.

We both honor and respect our upbringing to this day and we will continue to do just that in how we carry ourselves, act, speak, teach, and everything between.

And, if anyone dares to accuse us of being too harsh or old fashioned or old school, tough.

Don't expect us to apologize if you don't' like what we have to say or how we carry ourselves.  

That's just not going to f*cking happen.

Not today. Not tomorrow.

We are proud Dog Moms. Now. Always. 

No comments:

Post a Comment