We Began The Process Of Making Coco's Birdhouse Today

 

We began the process of making Coco's birdhouse for our Rainbow Bridge Memorial Garden today. Lots of tears. We decided the colors should match the blanket we bought him in 2012. Burgundy and black. 

His special birdhouse will be added to the ones we made for Sophie and Olivia. 

I posted the first photo on my personal Facebook page earlier today with a couple of paragraphs...

I was finally able to begin the process of making Coco's Birdhouse for our Rainbow Bridge Memorial Garden. I decided to use the same colors as his favorite blanket. The one we bought him in 2012.

When I started painting, a song by Andra Day appeared on my playlist. As she so beautifully belts out, "And I'll rise up. High like the waves. I'll rise up. In spite of the ache. I'll rise up. And I'll do it a thousand times again."

I thought today would be a tearless day. But. Nope.

As a writer, I should know how to put how I feel into words. 

But. 

I don't. 

Not now. 

At this time last year, we knew it was going to be Sophie's last Holiday season with us. That bit of information didn't make things any easier. 

Not. At. All. 

We both had lots of moments when we shed tears because of the "lasts."

Her last Halloween. 

Her last Thanksgiving. 

She loved roasted turkey and sweet potatoes. 

Her last Christmas. 

Making her last Christmas ornament. 

And so many more moments. 

What we didn't know, at the time, was that it was going to be Coco's last Holiday season with us too. 

That is still sitting heavy with us. 

This. Just. Really. Sucks.