We Had To Make One Of The Worst Decisions Today

 

Today, we had to make one of the worst decisions. To make that call. To Coco's doctor. That. It was time. He has been letting us know. In his own way. This decision did not come easy. And. It came after lots and lots of teary conversations. 

To back up a bit...

Our Sweet Sophie began showing the signs of Canine Dementia last October. I did a ton of research. The signs were evident. We made an appointment with her doctor. The earliest appointment they had was the first week of December. 

Sophie was officially diagnosed. She was put on medication to ease the symptoms. It didn't work. Her doctor prescribed another medication in addition to the first. The combination didn't work. 

Throughout this time, she had a few good days. What we didn't know back then was that those good days materialized into false hope. We held on tight to our agreement that as long as she was eating and drinking, we wouldn't have to "make that heartbreaking decision."

But. 

Most of the days were not good for Sophie. She very seldom relaxed for more than a half hour. Pace frantically from one room to the next. Walk around in circles. Climb over water dishes, toy boxes, and dog beds instead of walking around them. She walked into corners and stayed there because she forgot where she was. She ran into walls and lower cupboards. She frequently attacked Coco, Lobo, and Willa because she forgot who they were. 

Etc...

It was beyond heartbreaking. When we held her, she would look at us with a blank stare. As if she didn't recognize us. Sophie did have moments when she recognized us, but it was far and few between. 

When Sophie was going through all of this, Lisa and I did not leave her home alone. Except for once. The first week of February. We were gone for an hour and a half. If that. When we returned home, Sophie was walking in circles. In the dining room. After she had pooped on the floor. There was a perfect circle of poop where she had been walking around in circles. 

We gave Sophie a warm bath, but she was combative. That wasn't our Sophie. She usually enjoyed warm baths even though she always gave "the look."

Sophie was known for "the look" during baths and photos. 

That is when we knew. It was time. Sophie let us know too. At one point, with both Lisa and me, at separate times, she had a tear that fell from one of her eyes when talked to her. That was her way of letting us know. Our Sweet Sophie made her journey over the Rainbow Bridge on February 16th. 

Coco began showing signs in late August. We knew what was happening as soon as it happened. Coco, unlike Sophie, did not walk around in circles endlessly. Instead, he randomly barked at absolutely nothing. That was the only difference between them. 

Like Sophie, Coco let us both know he was ready. It was time. That is only a language that Dog Parents can understand. 

Lisa and I had those conversations together. Lots of tears and an abundance of tissues. We decided not to go down the route of medications with Coco as we did with Sophie. At the end of the day, those medications only prolonged the inevitable. 

We made that appointment today. Coco will be laid to rest on Saturday. Our hearts are breaking. We are crushed. We are in disbelief that we are having to go through this again. This year. Months apart from Sophie. 

We are still adjusting to having to lay our Sweet Sophie to rest. 

These next few days are going to suck big time. Lisa put in for Friday and Saturday off. For obvious reasons. 

I don't even know what else to say. 

What can I say?

I hate this part. 

I hate it so much.