Thursday, April 13, 2023

Dance Like No One Is Watching And...

It's always been said to dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. And, write like no one is going to read it. 

Sure, people create comical memes to reiterate these motivational mantras. However. If you take a moment to seriously think about it, it expands to something much greater. 

Imagine yourself at a celebratory occasion where there is a dance floor and a DJ or band. Lots of people. A mix of friends, family, and strangers. 

One of your favorite songs starts playing. A handful of people are already on the dance floor. A few of your friends persuade you to join them. You get up. Make your way to where people are dancing. You notice your surroundings. Who's dancing. Who's watching. 

At that moment, you become hyper-aware of what you're wearing. Your hair. Shoes. Imperfections. What other people are wearing. The status of their dance moves. Meanwhile, you're strutting your shit with generic dance moves. Precarious dance moves. 

While all of this is taking place, you're thinking, "If this song was playing at home, it would be a completely different scene."

This is where that fine line between dancing in public and dancing like no one is watching is visible. Because, you know damn well if that same song was playing at home and you were alone, your dance moves would be worlds away from what you're doing now. 

I know you know what I'm talking about. 

The same goes for belting out your voice to a favorite song. Very few are brave enough to grab the mic at public karaoke. But, you know you have given it your all while in the car or at home alone. 

The same goes for writing. 

I will be the first to admit that I have fallen into this trap time and time again. I still do. It's something I'm working on. More so than I ever have because I am in the process of writing a book. A memoir to be exact. 

Writing a memoir is difficult because you can't hide behind fictional characters and situations. There are no proverbial curtains. What this all translates to is writing like no one is going to read it. 

It all sounds confusing because when you're writing a piece, whether it's a personal blog column or book, you're throwing your words, life, and experiences out into the world. For all to read. You are sharing. Letting people in. 

As a non-fiction author of personal blogs and books, you get to pick and choose what you want to share. How much. The same holds true for vloggers. That pertains to footage, photos, chapters, daily blog columns, etc. 

That is what I have been struggling with for over a year now.

What makes it more difficult is that I feel as if my struggles and trials and tribulations pale in comparison to what others are struggling with. I'm always the first one to say, "If this is all I have to complain about today then I'm doing okay." 

But the truth is, sometimes I'm not doing okay. What I have had to learn is that I can't compare anything about my life to the person next to me or to the person half a world away whether good or bad or anything between.

The biggest lesson of all is that I have learned that a smidgen of honesty doesn't cut it. If you're going to write a memoir or any piece for the world to see, you have to put it all out there. 

Without the fear. 

Write in your voice. 

Write what you want, not what you think everyone wants to read. 

Sit down at your preferred writing space, open a vein (not to be taken literally), and get it out. 

There will be those who want to silence you. They'll crawl out from the woodwork. In every shape and form and from every direction. The proverbial landmines and roadblocks. 

I have stumbled on many. 

Just recently, a family member of mine sent feedback on a post from my personal Facebook wall. They accused me of causing chaos. 

Eye. Roll. 

Write your piece or your book like no one will ever read it.


If people have a problem with that, maybe they should have behaved better. 

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