I Am Half The Woman I Used To Be

 

I posted this photo on my personal Facebook wall on December 11, 2022. It was the first time I posted a full-body photo of myself in over 10 years. There was a reason for this. 

The reason is that at one time, back in 2016, this was me. I was at my heaviest and that trickled into the years ahead. 

I hated my picture being taken. I told people not to take photos of me and, if they did, not to post them on Facebook. 

But then, in March of 2021, something changed. 

I was cleaning out our closets. In the back of my closet were several pairs of jeans. As quoted on my Facebook wall...

"A couple of years ago, I splurged and ordered 2 pairs of pricey jeans online. They were on sale. Much to my dismay, they were too small. I couldn't button or zip them. I hung them at the far end of the closet and essentially forgot about them. Until...

Today, while making cookies and working on my kitchen dance moves, I thought about those jeans. That lil' proverbial voice whispered in my ear, "You should try them on..." So. I did.

When I put them on, I didn't have to unbutton or unzip them. They're flirting with that line of being TOO big on me now. I stood in front of our full-length mirror. Happy. Proud. A little sad because I missed the window of that "perfect fit" opportunity.

However. You can bet that I will get as much kitchen dance time out of my jeans. At least until they fall down when I'm shakin' it! LOL!"

On November 16, 2022, I posted this photo on my Facebook wall.

"So. I bought a pair of jeans back in 2011. Fit me like a glove. They accidentally got dried in the dryer. Shrank. Much. Too. Small. But, I kept them. A year ago, I couldn't pull them up over my thighs. And. This kind of meshed with jeans I had purchased over the years. That didn't fit. But then. Did fit. And. Got too baggy. 

I got brave tonight. Despite the shrinkage, they fit now. Much too baggy. Again. I can pull them up and down without undoing the zipper and button. 

What that translates to. Is. Almost 100 pounds lost. No surgery. No drinks. No pills. No eliminating food groups. I just moved and grooved. That. Is. All."

A few months later, I posted this photo. 

"I posted this photo a little over a month ago. After losing over 100 pounds. Today. I wore the same outfit out while running errands. These jeans fell to my ankles after walking a short distance. The winter jacket I bought a couple of months ago...too big.

My wife said, "We need to get you smaller jeans and shirts and a jacket." My response was, "I hate shopping for clothes." But. It's time. UGH! GAH!"

And, yesterday, I posted THIS photo. I am literally "half" the woman I was many moons ago. The jeans I bought less than a month ago are already getting too big. 

No "after" glamor shot. I am a proud work-at-home Dog Mom. Crocs. No makeup. My hair in a sloppy bun. That. Is. All. I am feeling a little badass.

More so...

I feel weird in my own body. 

The transformation has been gradual, but consistent. 

I have donated about 90% of my old clothes.

I will need to buy shorts and skirts for this Summer.

The Summer shirts I bought a couple of years ago, which were once too small, are much too big.

To be honest, it's all a bit overwhelming. 

My body continues to shrink. 

As mentioned earlier...

I did not have surgery.

I am not on a diet.

I have not eliminated food groups.

I am not on a "plan."

I don't take weight loss pills

I am not drinking weight loss shakes.

I despise gyms.

Over the past few months, a lot of people have reached out asking "what my secret is."

Truthfully...

I don't have one. 

Most of the time, I eat healthy foods.

About 95% of our meals and snacks are homemade. 

I dance a lot in our kitchen and while doing housework.

My appetite is a fraction of what it used to be because of my weight loss.

Since going through menopause, I have lost my taste for most of the unhealthy snacks I used to eat.

I don't know.

But.

This is where I am at.

And, I am proud. 

I no longer shy away from the camera. 

Last year, I celebrated my last 40-something birthday.

This year...

Great things. 

And, that includes shrinking a little bit more.