My Heart Will Be A Little Heavy For A Little Bit...

 

This is not me. It's my friend, Claire. I met her on Facebook back in 2009 when I was living in Ohio. She lived in Ohio too. Like me, she's a writer, freelancer, and so much more. We connected after I posted some links on my Facebook wall to blogs I had written for the company I was working for. 

Over the years, I enjoyed her many daily Facebook posts and occasional private messages. Claire was exceptionally talented. Smart. Funny. She was the queen of puns. She was always the bright star in the sky. If you were having a bad day, Claire could manage to put a smile on your face.

Claire always wrote and spoke in her voice. It didn't matter what was going on in the world. She had a gentle way about her that could ease any and all anxieties. More often than not, she was the voice of reason. Over the past couple of years, between Covid and the darkness of times caving in, she was one of the few reasons why I checked my Facebook news feed.

A little over a week ago, Claire began to "not feel well." She thought it was a head cold. Because. Not everything is Covid. 

Claire was vaccinated. She took every precaution. She was very, very careful. 

But.

That head cold wasn't just a head cold. 

It was Covid. The varient. 

Despite how sick Claire was, she continued to blog via Facebook. Daily. What she was going through. In detail. A couple of days ago, it appeared that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. She was improving. 

I didn't see a daily post yesterday.

I checked. This morning. When Lisa and I were getting ready to head out for a late morning date to the Farmers Market and to support another local business. Armed with goodies to surprise them with.

This is when I learned that Claire passed away.

I had a physical reaction. 

I lost my breath. 

I kept whispering, "No. No. No. No."

Lisa asked what was wrong. I told her. She asked if I was okay. I told her I was.

But.

I wasn't.

I grabbed a few tissues. 

My eyes swelled with tears. I couldn't stop the flow. 

A few minutes later, Lisa asked me, "Are you okay...?"

I told her no. And why. 

I gathered myself. 

We went about our day.

But.

My heart was heavy.

For so many reasons. 

It will be. 

For some time...

I still can't wrap my head around Claire passing away.

It just doesn't seem real.