Tuesday, August 6, 2019

I Used To Take Pride In Being A Workaholic. Now, Not So Much. Not Even Close.

For as long as I can remember, I've always been a workaholic. Back in my early 20's, I was a manager in training for a convenience store. On top of that, I made handcrafted dolls and sold them on the weekends at craft shows. When I became a manager, I worked 2 or 3 days straight. I napped in my office or on top of the large freezer chest. In the years to follow, I worked multiple jobs at a time. When we moved into our home back in 2012, I was working about 100 hours a week. It didn't stop there...

On top of work, I did housework and cooked. Took care of our kids. Then, in 2013, Bodacious Biscuit Love came to life. I worked. Provided Academic and Independent Living Tutoring. Was a ghostwriter. Managed a writing program for college kids.

The list goes on.

Over the past couple of years, I've retired from providing certain services.

In 2017, for many reasons, I did not renew our license with the Connecticut Department of Agriculture.

I shifted my focus.

A lot. 

This morning, after Lisa left for work, I got on the bed with all of our kids.

I laid on my side.

They love it when I get on the floor, sit on the sofa, or lay on our bed on my side with them.

All 4 of them snuggle as close as they can get to my body.

I kiss their heads and rub their bellies and massage their necks and backs and legs.

They all make their various sounds of, "Oh, Mommy...this feels wonderful."

They slather my face with juicy kisses.

We play and chat and I throw Willa's fetch ball.

When I get up, my shirt and bottoms are covered in dog hair.

I have to clean my glasses.

It's usually right around this time that my brain starts playing tricks on me.

It tries to make me feel guilty for taking this time out with my kids.

And tries to convince me that it's "downtime."

When you're a workaholic, downtime is unheard of. It's unacceptable.

Life solely consists of working, eating on the go, and grabbing a nap here and there.

I used to wear the proverbial workaholic badge with pride.

Now, that badge resides in a box that sits on a shelf in the Bodacious DIY Dog Mom Project Workshop.

I'm not going to lie. The transition was challenging and it did not happen overnight.

I had to retrain myself.

I changed my sleep schedule almost 2 years ago. I adhered to a more "regular" sleep schedule. I no longer work on the overnight. In a nutshell, I pretty much keep to Lisa's schedule.

I retired from a few services that I used to provide. 

We eat now eat dinner at the kitchen table. It is our time to connect and talk about our day and such.

In addition to our kid's meals and snacks being all homemade, the same holds true for the meals and snacks Lisa and I eat.

I have also learned to be in the moment. Unplugged. Work hard, play hard. Even though being a Work at Home Dog Mom is a 24/7 job, that doesn't mean I can't take an afternoon or evening to enjoy time with friends who have become family.

Above all, I do not allow myself to feel guilty for taking sporadic breaks throughout the day to get on the floor, sofa, or bed with our kids.

They love the attention. The snuggles. The belly rubs. The snacks. The playtime.

At this point, I don't have everything aligned just right.

It's hard to with Lisa's schedule, especially for those 4 1/2 months.

And, I definitely need to alter some stuff here and there.

But, I'm getting there.

I have goals and things that I want and need to get done by the end of this year. I'm confident it will happen.

A big part of reaching my goals is enjoying the journey between point A and point B.

Life is short.

It's not all about work.

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