Thursday, July 25, 2019

Our Ode To Lorraine. You Will Never Be Forgotten. You Are Here With Us. Still. Always.

I posted this photo on my Facebook wall today. It was taken the day Lisa and I were married. From left to right it's Lorraine, me, and Lisa. This very same photo sits on our shelf in the living room and in our home office. It is special for so many reasons.

Accompanying the photo on my personal Facebook wall was this...

"This is another photo from our wedding day almost 7 years ago that is very special to us. Our dear friend, and Lisa's Best Bud for over a decade, Lorraine, gave a speech during our wedding ceremony.

Sadly, in 2015, Lorraine lost her battle with cancer. We miss her so much. We have this photo displayed in our living room. Lorraine will always be with us in spirit.

Last night over dinner, we talked about Lorraine and all of the good times we had together. The 'Lisa Cafe.' Sipping happy punch and eating our favorite pizza together when the sun went down. The brownie sundaes. Meatball grinders. Working in the garden together. Lorraine bringing us food the day we made our wedding favors and helping us out.

We love you, Lorraine. Your spirit is alive in our home. It always will be."

I try my best to keep things on my personal Facebook wall short, sweet, and simple.


With Lorraine, it was anything but.

As mentioned, Lorraine was Lisa's Best Bud for over a decade. When Lisa and I reunited after a 10-year separation, she told me all about Lorraine. I couldn't wait to meet her.

Lisa warned me though.

Lorraine was a tough soul. Much older than myself. Old enough to be my elder. She did not put up with any bullshit, laziness, or excuses. She was a hard worker and demanded the same from those around her.

In other words, the workday wasn't over with when you got out of work. Because, when you got home from work and on the weekends, there was shit that needed to be done. Every. Single. Day.

I met Lorraine for the first time on July 3, 2011. At the time, Lisa was renting her guest house. A gorgeous guest house that she and Lisa had renovated prior to me moving back "home" from out of state a week prior.

One day, Lorraine was sitting at her picnic table. Alone. I took a break from work stuff. Made an adult beverage. Walked slowly to the picnic table. Lorraine was drinking a Corona and reading the paper.

I sat across from her. Sipping my adult beverage from my pink girly sippy cup.

I tried to make conversation. She sized me up. I sized her up. Small talk.

The following day, after a cookout, Lorraine and Lisa treated me to a fabulous fireworks display to celebrate the 4th of July.

At the time, I was living with my Mom at a condo in New Hampshire. She needed help financially. As the weeks and months transpired, I was spending a week at where my Mom lived and a week where Lisa lived. Back and forth.

Lorraine and I eventually bonded. The weeks that I spent at the guest house, I assisted with yard work and chores and I cooked fabulous meals and baked treats for work snacks and such.

Lorraine quickly realized that I had the same worth ethic as her and Lisa. Work hard. Come home. Work more. Share delicious meals. Enjoy the little things in life.

The work I did beyond my work and the meals I prepped had nothing to do with trying to impress Lorraine or win her approval.

What I did after my 80-hour workweek represented how I had been raised.

Lorraine and I established a bond.


We worked together in the gardens. I made scrumptious dinners made with the fresh produce from the gardens and beyond.

I worked late at night while Lorraine and Lisa went out for 'Bud Night.' For a bite to eat and the casino.

I was the 'watchtower.'

Because Lorraine's partner was, well...


In the months to follow, the three of us had a blast.

Lisa and Lorraine worked Monday through Friday. I worked every day of the week.


On the weekends, when Lisa and Lorraine worked in the yard or in the house, I created the 'Lisa Cafe.'

I made sandwiches and wraps and beverages on my breaks for them to eat with gusto between chores.

On occasion, we ordered our favorite pizza to enjoy after a long and hard day of yard work.

Complete with adult beverages.

I would also spend my break times helping Lisa and Lorraine with yard work. Gardening. Meals. Home renovations. Working in the barn.

The first week of October of 2011, when Lisa and I were heading back to New Hampshire, Lorraine grabbed my arm firmly...

"When are you moving home?"

I will never forget that moment. Her grip. Her tone. Realizing that I had broken down her walls. I was one of the very few she had allowed into her very tiny circle.

On the day of the 2011 Halloween nor'easter on October 29th, I moved "home."

From that day until July 12 of 2012, we rented the guest house.

We had countless great times.

After we moved into our home, we still had lots of great times.

Delivering brownie sundaes and having her over for meatball grinders.

Sharing our favorite pizza when the sun set while sipping adult beverages.

Lorraine bringing us food the day we prepped our wedding favors and putting the final touches on our wedding day.

Giving a speech on our wedding day.

Sadly, on July 2nd of 2015, Lorraine lost her battle with cancer.

Since then, Lisa and I have kept her alive in our home and hearts and conversations.

She continues to be our rock.

Our inspiration.

Our strength when some of the younger generations puts us to the test or their parents continue to coddle them and powder their asses.

Lorraine would not have put up with that shit.

And, Lorraine would have kicked our asses for putting up with that shit.

We love you, Lorraine.

You will always be a constant to us in spirit.

In our home.

In our hearts. Minds. Body. And soul.

We miss you and love you so much.

1 comment:

  1. thank you so much for sharing this Lisa, I myself have very fond memories of Lorraine from the time our family met her they became very close. My mom and Lorraine were good friends for a long time. I babysat for little Roger when he was young. She was tough but had a very kind soul. I was actually thinking about her the other day because I was looking at the card you get the wake. I was thinking to myself I can't believe she has been gone this long. I remember when my daughter was born, that she got a call from the school because Roger told his teachers his girlfriend had a baby this weekend. It is still a very special story to me.