Today, I Had Two Choices. I Opted To Be Productive And Positive.

I don't usually write a blog post at 9 in the morning, but today I am. It's Saturday. Lisa is at work because her place of employment shut down early when we were hit with a blizzard. Normally, at this time, or a bit earlier, we're sitting in the living room together. Sipping coffee. Having our weekend coffee chats that have become a tradition. Not today. For me, it seems to be the cherry on top of my crap-week sundae.


A long time ago, when I first started writing this blog, I made a vow to share both the great stuff and the messy stuff. The great stuff is easy to share. The messy stuff, not so much.

At this point, I should admit that it's been a horrible week. What added to its horribleness is that it's the first week of 2018. I had plans. I wanted this week to be great. I wanted this week to be saturated with accomplishments and an incredible start to what's going to be an awesome year.

Despite my best efforts, that didn't exactly happen. Not even close. I honestly can't remember the last time I had a full blown shitty week. Usually, I have an off day. A shitty day. Maybe two. But an entire week, no.

However...

I don't think the Universe was done doling out answers to the questions I asked last month. She also threw in a few extras. Then, she decided I needed a little slow-down time.

It all happened this week. It was the grand finale of sorts...

I had a touch of a virus during the first half of the week. It wasn't a big deal, but enough to slow me down.

I didn't get much sleep. I had a hard time falling asleep. If I managed to fall asleep, I woke up every half hour.

My attention was focused on a massive winter storm that included the words "bomb cyclone" and "bombogenesis." That's nothing to mess around with when it's accompanied by 10-30 BELOW zero temperatures.

The hustle and bustle of November and especially December caught up with me.

Lisa has been working an obnoxious amount of hours over the last couple of weeks.

I had a difficult conversation with a family member and made the decision to permanently sever ties with them once and for all.

I allowed myself to get caught up in a situation that really isn't my problem. However, Lisa and I have done our best to assist for the past year. We've gone above and beyond. Last night, we both realized that our efforts haven't been enough. To sum up that situation, two quotes came to mind...

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."  

And...

"Not my circus, not my monkeys."

A friend of mine let me down. I'm feeling a tiny bit neglected. That's hard for me to admit.

When it was time for me to make dinner, I threw up my hands. Cried.

I have no shame in admitting that.

Lisa knew I was at the end of my rope. She asked what she could grab for dinner.

"I don't care. Get McDonald's. I don't care."

"You hate McDonald's. We don't eat fast food."

"I know, but I don't care. French fries will be fine. Just tell them no salt so you get fresh, hot fries."

"Really?"

"Yes. Trust me."

Then...

We had a bit of a scare last night. Nothing major. Everything is okay. Problem solved. However, it peaked after Lisa got home with our crappy McDonald's that we both hate.

I was literally laughing and crying at the entire situation.

At the same time, I was a little pissed.

When all was said and done, we sat down to cold, shitty McDonald's food that we hated even more.

And, we were both disgusted.

I didn't sleep much last night. I couldn't get my brain to shut down. I finally fell asleep and woke up a few hours later when Lisa had to get up for work.

We adhered to our usual Monday through Friday routine.

After she left, I snuggled with our kids and got another hour of sleep.

I didn't feel any better when I woke up or after drinking 2 cups of coffee.

I was on the verge of doing something I've never done. Sitting on the sofa all day and night watching Netflix. With season two of Stranger Things and the fourth season of Black Mirror available, that wouldn't have been hard for me to do. I could easily zone out the world today.

I was very close to committing to this, but I didn't.

While scrolling through my social media feeds, I saw photos of the coastal flooding caused by Winter Storm/Blizzard Grayson. I had seen photos during and after the storm, but it's a lot worse now. The water has frozen due to the frigid below-zero temperatures.

Those photos put things into perspective for me.

In addition, a lot of people north of us have lost power. They're having to endure temperatures 30 below zero without heat. Their pipes are freezing and bursting. They don't have a generator. And some don't have neighbor friends who would step forth to help out in a heartbeat and without asking.

**Update**

Shortly after noon today, after spending a couple of hours getting myself out of my dark cloud, I posted this on my personal Facebook wall...

"It's been a shitty week. I'm irritated. Frustrated. Disgusted. Disappointed. A lil' pissed. Early this morning, I had TWO choices. Curl up under the blankets and spend the entire day and night watching Netflix....something I've never done, but with the new season of Stranger Things and Black Mirror, I could easily do it. Or, take all of this pent up negative energy I've acquired over the week and do something amazing with it.

After eating almost a whole container of the best Cucumber Kimchi and all of our furry kids slathering my face with juicy kisses because they knew Mommy was a wee bit defeated after this week, I decided to get up and be productive and positive. Dust myself off. Adjust my tarnished Wabi Sabi crown. Slather on some Burt's Bees lip balm. Make today f*cking fabulous.

I've been writing blog columns all morning from the sofa on my Chromebook. Lobo and Willa are snuggled close. At noon, I'll start housework. Then later, groom our furry kids and give them warm bubble baths. I'll take each of their current measurements so I can make them new winter apparel next week. We will give winter boots a try with Willa. I'll crack open a bottle of wine. Fix a big and scrumptious spiral ham dinner for my wife because she's busted ass all week and deserves to be spoiled. I may even make a half batch of homemade cupcakes. Throughout all of the chores, work, shenanigans, and such, I will also count my blessings."

Yep.

This is exactly what's going to happen...