Saturday, September 16, 2017

I Do These 10 Things To Keep My Sanity Intact As A Dog Mom

Over the years, I've followed several mommy-of-human-kid bloggers. Several times a week, I read their latest posts. Their blogs are candid, they're not afraid of dropping the F-Bomb, and they keep it real. Some of my favorite posts have been ones about the extremes they've gone to for a few minutes of alone time or to indulge in something without the kids around. These comical efforts range from locking the bathroom door while pooping to hiding a box of Girl Scout Thin Mints in a box of fiber cereal to having a quickie in the garage with the spouse while the chicken nuggets are cooking in the oven to hiding in the bathtub with a bottle of wine.

As a work at home Dog Mom, I'll be the first to admit that I have a few things I do in order to keep my sanity intact...

1. I close the gate. After picking up the kid's toys and vacuuming the living room and home office, I shut the gate to the kitchen so the kids can't get into both rooms. I sit on the sofa for a few minutes to enjoy the freshly vacuumed, doggy toy free carpets. Once I get my fix, I let the kids in. Within 5 minutes later, their toy boxes are emptied, doggy toys cover the floor, and dog hair is prevalent.

2. I shut the bathroom door when doing my business. Because sometimes, I don't want to play fetch with Willa or have Lobo laying across my feet while I'm on the toilet.

3. Peanut butter, peanut butter, spread it on! A tiny smear of peanut butter in a long, hollow chew bone occupies the kids for at least a half hour. That's enough time to finish up a blog post or sneak a 15-minute cat nap.

4. Rattle the leash. The sound of the leash is guaranteed to get all of the kids into the kitchen in record time so I can vacuum or sneak out onto the front porch for a 10-minute-alone-time break.

5. Snacks are more than snacks. I have no shame in admitting I've used treats as a form of bribery.

6. The home office has a door. Once in a while, when Lisa and I need a few minutes of alone, we shut the office door. Sit on the love seat. I have a glass of wine in my hand. She has her Dunkins iced coffee. We chat for a few minutes. Exhale. Then, one of us gets up, looks at the other and says, "You ready?" Yep. The door is opened. All 4 kids come running in acting as if we had left them alone for hours.

7. Showering at odd times. Prior to Willa joining our family, I used to shower on the overnight. That guaranteed an uninterrupted, long hot shower. Now, I shower around the lunchtime hour. That's when all of our kids are napping and it's almost a guarantee I won't be interrupted.

8. Drinks and snacks outside. Lisa and I don't go out for drinks and munchies with friends. Our alternative is much better. We light a backyard fire. A few of our neighbor friends join us. We make drinks or pou the wine. Lisa sets up the camp table. There's a spread of munchies. Music. We always have a blast. That's our evening out. At home. Outside.

9. I hide the fetch toys. When I need to get a DIY Dog Mom Project done or I have a deadline, I'll hide the fetch toys for a couple of hours. Out of sight. Out of mind. The kids are just as happy with chew bones. They're more relaxed. Content. My deadlines are met. Fetch toys come back out. Everyone is happy.

10. I suck on root chips. Any type of food noise will get their attention or wake them from a sound sleep. If the kids are napping, I will suck on root chips. That prevents them from crunching in my mouth. The kids continue to nap. Food slowly gets into my hungry tummy.

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