Sunday, June 25, 2017

10 Reasons Why I'm A Low Maintenance Work At Home Dog Mom

I baked biscuit love early this morning. Once that was done, I cleaned up and started prepping for dinner. Two of our neighbor-friends-who-have-become-family were joining us for a simple dinner. At some point between baking and prepping, I noticed a weird feeling in the sleeves of my thin, long sleeved shirt. After examining, I discovered 4 holes. There were 2 holes on the right sleeve and 2 on the left. Upon further examination, I realized the shirt I was wearing should probably be retired to the trash.

I've had this shirt for about 3 years. It's a thin turtleneck that I wear even during the Summer months. Most times, I get cold chills inside of our home because all of the air conditioners are on. Lisa overheats quickly. While I do overheat on occasion, thanks to being pre-menopausal, I get cold chills from the air conditioners. The thin turtleneck provides enough coverage to keep me warm without being too warm.

At that moment, upon examining my shirt, I stood there a little longer and observed my appearance. A turtleneck with holes in the sleeves. A cotton skirt I bought about 7 years ago at Old Navy. Crocs Flip Flops. My hair in a sloppy bun. No makeup. The polish on my toenails needed a refresher coat about 3 weeks ago. No nail polish on my fingernails. Dark circles under my eyes. No bra. I smelled like peanut butter dog biscuit dough.

A minute or so later, I opened a bottle of wine. I grabbed a chunk o' ice from the freezer. While pouring the wine into my glass, I remembered a couple of things I had posted on a website for an old client. Whisky Stone Cubes and fancy ice cube molds for adult beverages.

At high-end bars, they serve perfectly shaped ice balls or cubes for top shelf liquors. 

In my frazzled, shlumpy, work at home Dog Mom kitchen, I have large clumps of ice that resemble Wabi Sabi, beautiful icebergs. I'm quite happy and satisfied with that. My kind of happy.

There I was, sipping from my glass. Wearing my holey shirt. And, without shame, realizing I'm a low maintenance, work at home Dog Mom...

1. I'm oblivious to my appearance. I throw on whatever is right in front of me. Old skirts. Holey shirts. Flip flops. Between dog hair, muddy paws, wet grass, doggy drool, peanut butter oil from dog biscuit dough, food prep, etc., by noontime each day, it looks as if I haven't changed my clothes in a week. I'm not about to spend big bucks on clothes.

2. I'm thrilled with the little things in life. I get overjoyed when someone gives me a box of scrap wood or if I get a 40% off 1 item coupon from Michael's.

3. If the wine tastes good, I don't care how much you spent on it. Some of the best wines I've had costs under $15 and doesn't require an adult fidget spinner (aka...a cork opener).

4. Your appearance doesn't matter to me. I'd much prefer if you showed up at our home wearing yoga pants, an old shirt, no bra, flip flops or slippers, and your hair tied in a bun or ponytail because you didn't want to be bothered with it. Wearing no make up earns you bonus points.

5. Dog hair is my favorite fashion accessory. If you show up at our home with a little or a lot of dog hair on your clothing, that earns you bonus points too.

6. I'll do cartwheels for a great jar of salsa or tasty guacamole. True story.

7. Our Friday or Saturday nights out. No, they don't include sipping pricey cocktails at a club or dining at upscale restaurants. Our evenings out include sitting around a fire in the backyard. Sipping wine from plastic cups. A camp table set up with munchies, watermelon, and stuff to make S'mores. More so, some, or all, of our neighbors-who-have-become-family tribe is with us. Great conversation. Lots of laughs. Belting out 80's love ballads to the moon. Memories made.

8. You spent how much on lipstick? Not too long ago I came across a Facebook post from a woman who discovered lipstick that stays on for 12+ hours. It was her new favorite thing and she didn't care that it cost $58 a tube. One of the replies to her post was, "For $58 a tube, I have no problem reapplying my lipstick periodically throughout the day." Like a boss!

9. There's no envy when I view your vacation photos. Seriously. Whether you spent the weekend in Provincetown, Massachusetts or ate pasta and sipped wine at a hole in the wall restaurant in Italy, there isn't a fiber of my being that's jealous. I'm just as happy and content spending the morning in our vehicle, driving around looking for yard sales, while sipping coffee and eating bagels from Baker's Dozen.

10. I have no desire to keep up with the Joneses.  None. I couldn't care less about the latest and greatest. I don't care about your $800 phone. I don't care about your $1500 Coach purse. I don't care that you upgraded your engagement ring. I don't care about your new car. I don't crave shopping sprees or getting a mani or pedi. All of that is irrelevant to me.

No comments:

Post a Comment