Thursday, March 24, 2016

It's Time To Say Goodbye To Ol' Bessie

Last night, during family snuggle time, I got a little teary eyed. It was our last night on our old sofa. Despite the discomfort, the deteriorating cushioned armrests (which you can see a little of on the right hand side) and the excessive wear and tear, there's sentimental value attached to this sofa that had once been an entire living room set my parents purchased back in 1994.

I was up earlier than usual this morning. After removing all of the 434 throw blankets and quilted sofa cover, I sat on the chair adjacent to our sofa. I may have giggled at the memory dating back to late summer of 2012 when we transported this sofa from New Hampshire to Connecticut. We had plenty of help loading it onto the borrowed pickup truck. The ride from point A to point B went smooth. It wasn't until we arrived home that we had an "oh shit" moment.

There was a good possibility this sofa was not fitting through the door.

It was just Lisa and I. The weather was excruciatingly hot and humid. In addition to the sofa, we had unloaded everything else. It took every last bit of our strength to lift the sofa and angle it just right to fit through the doorway.

It was a tight squeeze. 

While I was sitting on the chair, I thought, "We're going to have a repeat of this later this afternoon." This was the plan. Lisa, Char and I would have to get ol' Bessie out of the house and loaded onto a pickup truck. Our new sofa is being delivered tomorrow morning.

Lisa has the day off tomorrow.

The thought of having a repeat of 4 years ago did not appeal to me. In addition, Lisa was exhausted from a hectic work week. By the time she got home from work and we tended to our usual late afternoon routine, it would be too much.

I made the decision to take matters into my own hands. 

After getting the kids situated in the bedroom, I gated them in. I inched the sofa out about a foot from where it sat and tipped it over. My goal was to separate the 3 sections. I knew this would be no small feat. Back in the early 90's, reclining sofas were made entirely different than today. They didn't come in 3 or 4 pieces for easy transport and tight squeezes. Our sofa is all one piece held together by a copious amount of nuts, bolts, screws and sturdy wood.

I gathered tools from Lisa's "junk drawer." Wire cutters, wrench, hammer, screw drivers, etc. I had no idea what I would need.

Yes, we each have our own junk drawers. 

I spent the next few hours taking the sofa apart. Loosening nuts and bolts and screws that had been secure for over 2 decades wasn't easy. My fingers were raw. The screws in the middle wouldn't budge. I tried. This posed a bit of a problem. In order to completely separate the 3 sections, I would have to either saw the wood or snap it. I chose to snap it.

Amid my muscle woman, tool woman moment, I found this wedged in the sections of the sofa. I was surprised it managed to stay there since August of 1994. 

Three out of the four snaps I was able to lift upward. It took a few tries with each, but I fueled my mission thinking about stuff that's been stressing me out and "family" issues over the past few years.

I use the term family lightly.

The fourth and final piece of wood to snap, I had to push down. After a few tries, I heard a crack. By this time I was exhausted. I decided to give it my all and throw my body weight into it.

Not the best idea.

I almost fell entirely forward. My left arm skimmed down the jagged wood that had just snapped. After regaining my composure, I stood there, hands on my hips, marveling at my progress.

Separating the sections from that point was a cinch. I gave the living room a thorough vacuum and made sure there were no lingering wood pieces or bolts and screws. Once that was done, I moved the sofa back to its original position, took this photo and sent it to Lisa.

Before sounding too excited about not having to do this when she got home, or having to contend with getting the sofa outside in one piece, she asked, "Did you injure yourself?"

She knows me well.

I didn't tell her about my arm. I waited until she got home. By this time, she was much too relieved and extremely happy. It took her 5 minutes to bring the 3 pieces outside and load them onto the truck.

Tonight, we'll be sofa free. Tomorrow is the big day.

On a side note, the look on the kid's faces when they discovered there was no sofa was priceless.

You can bet, at the end of the day, when all was said and done, I enjoyed an adult beverage. Much deserved.

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