Wednesday, February 24, 2016

My Heart Is Heavy Today...

One of my favorite quotes of all time is by Nietzsche. It reads, "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." It's a quote I reflect back on often...especially days like today. A dear man, one very close to my wife and her family, lost his battle with cancer today.

As quoted from my personal Facebook page...

I have a love hate relationship with days like today. Death. Cancer. The past year. Too many friends and family. Today has been no exception. A beautiful and gentle man, one who brought great joy and laughter to many, lost his battle to cancer earlier today. A lifelong friend of my wife's family. My heart aches for their loss and grief. A myriad of emotions. It hits home. MY home. The people I love. The people I am proud to call family.

These unexpected moments are my reminders. The wrecking ball that comes out of nowhere. Knocks me off my game for the day. A blurry screen because of tears. Lack of focus because of the messages from the universe. Fate. Life is short.

Today, I am reminded of all of the decisions and choices I have made in the past five years. Change is beautiful. Severing ties, although difficult, can be empowering. Saying "no" is okay. Family isn't always those who are related by blood. I've always walked the path of unpopular with pride.

I am 42 years old. I am well beyond caring what people think of me, my wife, our family, and our choices we've made over the years. What you see is what you get. And, if it's not what you expected, there's the fucking door. I don't have to like you. You don't have to like me. Feel free to judge the music I choose to dance to. The people in our life, the ones who we consider family, don't care. They dance with us. Imperfections don't exist. Love is unconditional.

Life is short. We live. We laugh. We love. We don't take tomorrow for granted. We do the best we can in the time we have. That's all we can do. Leave our mark in this world. Dance. To our own music. Language ends where music begins. Embrace those surrounding us. And, to be grateful we woke up this morning. Another day. Another chance. For that, life is good. That's all we have is today.

Lisa will be leaving on Friday to visit her parents and the mother of this incredible man. She'll be staying the night. All plans and activities for the week have come to a quick halt. Tomorrow, I will be spending most of my time in the kitchen baking and making a big batch of beef stew in the crockpot for Lisa to take with her. If she's able to get the day off on Friday, she'll be leaving early in the morning.

My heart is heavy today.

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