The Only Difference Is...

Earlier this year, I had a conversation with a family member (my side). I am not close to this family member. This person has been out of my life (in my adult years) more than they have been in it. Since 2012, we have seen this family member once. In 2021. 

Although we embraced this visit and made every effort to spoil him, we learned a couple of months later that the visit wasn't exactly genuine. 

That is all I will divulge about this visit. I do not wish to air anyone's dirty laundry or personal affairs. I needed to say the above because it sets the stage for this blog column. 

In February, this family member and I had a conversation. This was 2 years after their visit. Between then and this conversation, we had lots of conversations. Because they were going through a tumultuous time. 

As they healed, our conversations grew less and less. A few invitations to visit us and spend a night or 2 were ignored. 

Back to the conversation in February. 

This family member blatantly said to me, "I don't think you're happy. You're not happy." At first, I attempted to defend myself. But. I stopped.

Why?

Because life isn't about non-stop happiness. In our world, happiness derives from being content and settled. Not needing a vacation or escape from your life. But, more so, embracing and welcoming ordinary days. The daily routines and grind. Dealing with the hardships and triumphs of each and every ordinary day. 

For example, during the time this family member and I had that conversation, Lisa and I were going through something big. With Sophie. A few months prior, in October, she was diagnosed with Canine Dementia. 

In January of this year, this was the scene on our counter. Sophie was deteriorating quickly despite a myriad of medications. When February approached, we knew we had to make that tough decision. It was one of the most difficult decisions. 

You can read about that here. 

February 16th of this year sucked so bad. It beyond sucked. We laid our sweet girl to rest. It was time. Her doctor verified that. It was a shitty day all the way around. 

Were we happy in the days prior? The day of? The days after? 

Nope. 

Are we happy that our sweet Coco is almost 13 years old and having a few medical issues? 

Nope. 

Are we happy that Lobo, our 3-legged rescue son, has stage 4 heart murmur and losing most of his mobility in his single hind leg? 

Nope. 

Does that mean we are unhappy people? 

Nope. 

It simply means that we are human. We are content and settled. But. Shitty things happen. We have lost family and lots of friends over the past year. They passed away. 

We have also lost family and friends due to other reasons. 

Not death.

We fall asleep and wake up to that truth every single day. 

And. 

To the family member that I mentioned earlier in this blog column.

It would have been nice to be able to call you and vent and share with you what we had and have been going through. 

But. 

That didn't happen. 

On that note...

Please do not judge. 

Do not accuse me and us of not being happy. 

Life happens. 

You know that. 

The only difference is. 

We were there for you. 

You were not there for us.