Sunday, August 4, 2019

When You Can No Longer Promise Your Kids That You'll Be Back When You Leave...

Last night after I tucked Lisa and the kids into bed, I went online for a little while. I wanted to start a blog column and see what was going on in the world. I wish I hadn't.

The first thing I noticed on my social media streams was the mass shooting that had taken place at a Walmart shopping center in El Paso Texas earlier in the day. At least 20 people were dead and more than 2 dozen injured.


I sat back on the sofa and looked up at the ceiling.

Late yesterday morning, Lisa ran a couple of errands. Groceries. Food for Olivia. Walgreens for vitamins. I stayed home and prepped food for a dinner that we shared with a couple of our favorite humans.

Lisa wanted to make a quick stop at Walmart, but I reminded her that it was the first weekend of the month. It would be crazy busy. Packed.

For obvious reasons. I'm not judging.

She thanked me for reminding her.

I thought about that conversation.

Yes, I'm well aware that El Paso, Texas is hundreds and hundreds of miles away from our home in Connecticut.

But, then...

This morning.

I checked my social media streams.

Another mass shooting happened last night in Dayton, Ohio at a nightlife district. Over 25 people were injured and 9 people were killed.

One of the replies to a particular post about these 2 mass shootings in less than 24 hours mentioned that there have been 250 mass shootings in 216 days.

And that included a mass shooting at the Gilroy Garlic Festival in California on July 28th. It resulted in 4 deaths and 12 injuries.


I read blog columns and statements and read online news coverage about these mass shootings.

One blogger said that a man shielded his wife and child. Took the bullets.

A mother shielded her child and took the bullets.

I. Can't. Even. Imagine. 

I know that I have written a blog column or 2 about this.

And, how over the years, we have kept things close to home.

Because mass shootings have become so frequent.

But, even keeping things close to home isn't safe.

Those who were killed and injured and their families at the Walmart shopping center in El Paso, Texas had no idea their lives would change because of a mass shooting.

Those who were killed and injured and their families at the garlic festival had no idea.

People didn't leave their house thinking they wouldn't be coming back.

The same holds true for the 250+ mass shootings this year.

So many people are quick to say, "Don't live your lives in fear because that's when you give the enemy power..."


These mass shootings are becoming more far and wide.

We have 5 kids who depend on us.

I can't even begin to imagine going to a festival or a shopping center and not returning home because...

It rips my heart out just thinking about our kids.

Waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

Because they know when their Mommies leave, we always come back.

I hate having to think about the "what ifs."

Do I look at our kids before we leave and say, "Mommy and I will be back as long as no crazy person decides to open fire where we are at..."

I hate the fact that I'm seriously considering using the Walmart shopper option where you order stuff online and someone brings it to your car.

I hate that I'm considering doing most of our shopping online except for groceries.

My brain is going a mile a minute.

I need to end this blog column and distract myself.

This. Is. Just. Too. Much.

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