Sunday, August 25, 2019

Finger Condoms Because Grace Is Not My Middle Name


It was a very busy Dog Mom day. We woke up a little late. Took the kids out. Fed them breakfast. Had playtime. Snuggle time. Then. I groomed our kids. Gave them baths. Then. We tackled our kitchen cupboards. We put together a couple of boxes to donate. Rearranged a few cupboards. The last thing to do was the cupboards underneath our kitchen sink. Lisa handled that. Due to a few plumbing issues, it's a bit damp and mildewy. I'm highly allergic to milder and mold.

Lisa cleared the entire area. Washed it out. Threw away a bunch of stuff that had been under there that no longer served a purpose.

While going through the items, Lisa came across 2 antique ice cream dishes.

We have no idea how they managed to find their way to underneath our kitchen sink cupboards.

The 2 antique ice cream dishes were put in the sink to be washed.

Shortly after Lisa finished cleaning and organizing the cupboards underneath our kitchen sink, she left to pick up a few things at the grocery store.

I stayed home to put the final preparations on dinner and finish some social media work stuff.

I decided to wash the antique plates and the 2 antique ice cream dishes that were in the sink.

I washed the plates first.

Then, I picked up the first antique ice cream dish. Washed it. Ran my thumb around the edge while rinsing.

Big. Mistake.

I didn't see the big chip in the dish.

I sliced my thumb.

Deep.

It bled.

A lot.

I dropped about 82 F-Bombs.

Soaked an entire paper towel with blood.

Then another.

I sent Lisa a text with one hand.

When she got home, she put the groceries on the table.

Was wide-eyed because of the amount of blood.

But, by then, it had eased up.

"Do you need to go to the hospital for stitches?"

I inhaled and exhaled slowly.

"Nope."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. I've got shit to do. Eggplant to fry and share. Dinner to make."

Lisa grabbed our first aid kit.

Cleaned my wound. Put a couple of butterfly stitches on. Bandages. All latex-free.

Then, the grand finale.

A finger condom.

Yay. Me.

Welcome to my Work at Home Dog Mom Life.

Grace is not my middle name.

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