Tuesday, April 23, 2019

My Therapy Of Choice Was Playtime With The Kids, Baking, And Reading

One of the bigger lessons I've learned in life is that you can't change people. That includes, but is not limited to, their behavior, actions, negativity, irritating qualities, or the amount of stress they dole out. These not so favorable traits can range anywhere from being slightly annoying, yet tolerable, to causing massive disruption and stress. Regardless, the only thing that you have the power to control is how you respond to it.

For example, years ago, we were friends with a woman who had probably never chewed with her mouth closed. She was loud and there seemed to always be a burst of air that preceded any sentence she spoke. This was a bit of a problem because most of the time we got together, it was at a restaurant.

I lost count how many times we had to dodge food that came flying out of her mouth. By the end of the meal, bits of food that had sprayed out of her mouth decorated the table. The final straw was when a piece of food from her mouth landed on my plate.

The solution for that was easy enough. No more dining out with her.

Our friendship fizzled out not too long after.

It had nothing to do with not meeting her for breakfast or lunch.

A more extreme example was the decision to retire from providing Academic and Independent Living Tutoring last year. The amount of stress that was caused by having to deal with most of the parents and teens/young adults blew through the roof.

A few hours of tutoring a week wasn't going to fix the issues at home such as no boundaries, no structure, no discipline, no consequences, etc.

As of late, I've been dealing with a couple of situations that is causing a great deal of stress and disruption. The who, what, where, and when is irrelevant. It involves other people and their business. I will not disclose that because I don't believe in airing other people's dirty laundry. I have the utmost respect for confidentiality.

It's a trust thing.

What I will say is that I'm frustrated on various levels. By late morning yesterday, I had to walk away from my usual routine and distract myself.

I was honestly about ready to lose my shit, but I exhaled. I kept reminding myself that I can not change those who were causing the stress and disruption. I essentially had 2 choices. Change how I respond to it and/or speak up about it.

I was too irritated to speak up about it yesterday.

So, I decided to get on the floor with my kids for playtime and snuggles. Then, I spent extra time in the kitchen baking.

Both are stress relievers for me. 

I made a beautiful, homemade lemon meringue pie and a fresh pineapple coffee cake.

I also did some "angry" housework.

I got on the floor with the kids again. They were playful and slathered my face with juicy kisses.

Lisa arrived home from work late. We chatted over dinner.

Usually after I tuck Lisa and the kids in, I work on blog columns or other desk work stuff. Instead, I opened the Wally Lamb novel I'm currently reading and read for over an hour.

Another stress reliever. 

It took a bit to fall asleep, but I eventually did.

We went about our usual routine this morning. Lisa just left for work.

I'm not sure what today will bring, but it's a new day.

My baking cupboard is fully stocked.

And, I'm sure the kids won't mind if I spend a bit more time on the floor with them.

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