Sunday, October 21, 2018

I Can Tell When Something Is Not Right. When Things Are Off Balance.

Many times throughout my childhood and teen years, I can remember my mother saying, "You feeling okay because I think you're getting sick." I'd always look at her with a puzzled glance. I felt fine. No symptoms. My immediate reply was, "I'm not sick." She'd guffaw and tell me that I was indeed getting sick. I always exhaled with irritation and stomped off because I knew within a few days, I would be sick with the flu or a cold or strep throat or bronchitis or all of the above.

I'm not quite sure when I popped the big question.

"How do you know?"

Here answer?

"Your eyes tell all..."

For the life of me, I could never figure out how my mother could tell I was getting sick before I had an inclination that I was getting sick.

My eyes?


Yesterday, something happened and I was reminded of that particular discussion with my mother.

Lisa got up. Took the kids out. Fed them breakfast.

I knew instantly that something was off balance with her.

I've always been able to sense that with her.

I kept asking if she felt okay.

Was she feeling sick?

When she sat down to eat breakfast, I asked her again.

"Are you feeling okay? You seem a bit off this morning."

"I'm fine. Why are you asking me the same thing over and over again?"

We went about our day, but things still felt off balance.

Last night, we enjoyed a pit fire in the backyard.

This morning, Lisa woke up late. I still had the sinking feeling that something wasn't right.

Lisa ran a few errands. When she got back, I knew.

At that point, I put my foot down. Hands on my hips.

"Whatever needs to be done can wait. You're going to rest and relax for the afternoon with the kids. You don't have a choice."

She didn't resist.

That's when it hit me.

I finally understood the vague explanation my mother gave decades ago.

She could tell by my eyes.

With Lisa, it's her eyes and demeanor. It's something I can't even begin to explain.

While Lisa napped on the sofa with the kids all afternoon, I made a nice Sunday dinner.

I could tell by Lisa's response to the dinner and her demeanor afterward that she was getting sick.

Then, a couple of hours later, she vented.

It was one of those moments of, "Where is my wife and what have you done with her?"

I didn't get mad or argue back.

I just sat there and listened.

Then, I tucked her into bed with the kids earlier than her typical bedtime.

Thankfully, Lisa has a doctor's appointment this week.

And, we're considering having a blackout weekend next weekend.

When I say "blackout" I mean...

Lisa resting.

She's not available to assist with anything unless it's an emergency.

Neither am I.

While I'm working, I'll be taking care of Lisa and our kids.

Because sometimes, that's just the way it has to be.

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