Friday, September 21, 2018

I'm Letting Go Of The Fear. I Need To. I Want To.


One of the biggest struggles of being a blogger/author is that a lot of people take things personally. They tend to have a knee-jerk reaction to anything that's written and/or posted on social media streams if it hits too close to home. A portion of that knee-jerk reaction is to have an emotional response. From that point on, a slew of negative stuff transpires in the form of nasty messages, gossip, confrontation, etc.

As an example, over 5 years ago I published a blog column addressing those people who continuously mistake semi-homemade for homemade. At the time, I had seen a rise in people posting photos of food they claimed were "homemade."

In my book, if you buy a tub of premade cookie dough and make cookies from that, they're not homemade. The correct term is Scoop and Bake.

If you buy frozen, premade bread dough, take it home, defrost it, let it rise and bake, that's not homemade bread. The correct term is Thaw and Bake.

If you buy gourmet frozen pastry, defrost and serve, that's not homemade. The correct term is Thaw and Serve.

If you buy tube biscuits, cut a hole in the center, and fry, those are not homemade donuts. The correct term is...

I actually haven't come up with a term for that yet. 

After seeing these false claims of "homemade" bursting through the roof, I published a blog column about this. I didn't point fingers or mention names. It was simply a general blog column about the difference between semi-homemade and homemade.

I also added the angle of why people who make authentic homemade goods had a problem with the Scoop and Bake and Thaw and Bake "bakers" who claimed authenticity with their finished product.

We had a family member who took offense to that particular blog column. She was famous for "Thaw and Bake" bread.

My intent for the blog column I wrote and published wasn't to offend anyone or point fingers. I simply spoke in my voice. I've been cooking and baking for over 30 years.

When I bring homemade bread to the table, it's homemade. Made with warm water. Yeast. Sugar. Salt. Flour. And, depending on what the dough is being used for, there are other ingredients as well. I mix the dough. Knead. Let it rise. Pound it down and knead it again. Shape. Let the dough rise again. Bake.

When I make cookies, I add ingredients to a bowl and mix.

That's homemade.

Thawing a wad of premade bread dough and then baking is not homemade.

Scooping premade cookie dough out of a tub is not homemade.

Another example, and right around the same time, I had received over a half dozen invites to attend one of those overpriced homewares/home gadget parties. I'm not a fan of the particular brand they were promoting. In the past, I had bought several big and small items and I wasn't impressed. The quality was...meh. The items I ordered broke within a relatively short period of time.

One day, I posted a meme. It was a "Thank You" for the invite to your (insert brand) party, but I'm not in need of a $30 melon baller.

Again, people took offense including the same family member who is convinced that Thaw and Bake bread is homemade. 

Since then, I've written and published dozens of blog columns that have had the same effect. People get offended Take it personally. They think I'm pointing a finger at them. In the weeks and months ahead, there's usually a big dramatic show and sequel to follow.

Or, I get the, "I read your blog column. That wasn't very nice."

*eye roll*

Since then, I've struggled. There's always been hesitancy and some level of fear. But, over the past 8 months, and more so, as of late, I'm letting go of that fear.

I need to.

I want to.

As a Work at Home Dog Mom, there are a considerable amount of elements in my life. The same holds true for our life as Dog Moms.

The whole point of Our Bodacious Dog Mom Life is to open those curtains. We're real people. Real Moms. Getting through this thing we call life. We have a family. We both work hard. Often times, we're exhausted, but we still trudge through our day and the stuff that needs to get done.

I share the good stuff. The messes. The frustrations. The stresses. The lessons learned. The disappointments. Etc.

Our circle has gotten much smaller over the years. We've learned a lot of tough lessons. Growing pains. We've been through the trials and tribulations.

Learning and making mistakes and becoming all the much wiser is a lifelong thing.

I'm not out to point fingers or embarrass anyone or mention names or throw anyone into the circle of shame. That's not me.

However, on the flip end of the stick, if the shoe fits, wear it.

Instead of having a knee-jerk reaction, ask yourself, "Why am I having such a strong reaction to this?"

I've read quite a few blog columns in the past that have hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to ask myself why. After taking the time to examine why I gained a deeper level of understanding whether it was personal or something to do with life in general.

How many of us have read a book and caught ourselves having an emotional response to something? Maybe it was about of laughter. Maybe a box of Kleenex was needed.

That's the beauty of writing whether it's a book or blog column or an essay. When you write in your voice, you connect with others and establish common ground. You stir up some type of emotional response even if it's pissing someone off.  More so, you generate conversation.

At the end of the day, I have to be okay with all of that.

Goodbye fear.






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