Sunday, July 22, 2018

We're Human. Just Like You. And You. And You.

Over the years, I've acquired a List of Favorite Bloggers. These are the bloggers I keep up with several times a week. They made my list because they're candid, real, down to earth, and they don't leave the messy stuff out. In my 12+ years of being in the line of work that I'm in, I've come across way too many bloggers who try and obtain the white-picket-fence persona. The bloggers on my list don't do that. They. Keep. It. Real.

Here's my list...

Not Your Average Mom
The Militant Baker
People I Want To Punch In The Throat
Erika Napoletano
The Bloggess

Not only have these bloggers been my favorite reads over the years, they have also inspired me to not leave the messy stuff out.

A couple of months ago when I hired a new editor of sorts, the first thing they noticed was that I was, in fact, leaving a lot of messy stuff out.

I was most certainly confused by this observation.

I've been publishing blog columns that have been all over the charts from DIY Dog Mom Projects to columns dedicated to my decision to retire from certain services and why. A few blog columns downright pissed a few people off.

If I was publishing blog columns that caused a reaction, to the point of people taking the time to email me, then how could I fall into the bucket of bloggers who were leaving the messy stuff out?


I happened.

It wasn't intentional.

And, because I embrace constructive criticism, I asked, "Why? When? How?"

My editor's response...

"You're focusing too much on the replies, other people's experiences, and the personal experiences you've shared with other people's messy stuff. 

What about your messy stuff?  The stuff that is yours and yours only. You've shared a lot with me over the years. Especially recently. I know you well. 

I'm very little of this depicted in your blog columns.

What are you afraid of? Life is life. None of us are immune to hardships, disappointment, crappy moments, and when we have to swallow our pride."

She's right.

I need to break down those walls.

I need to stop caring what others think.

I need to stop being concerned with those who may take offense or pass judgment.

I need to share without shame or embarrassment.

Because, at one time or another, we've all been there. At the bottom of the well. Struggling. Having to make difficult decisions. Treading angry waters to keep your head afloat. Etc.

And regardless of how old you are, none of us are immune to those devastating hurdles that hit us unexpectedly. Like a wrecking ball.

Nothing bad or earth-shattering has happened.

But, I have failed to share some of the messy stuff that entirely belongs to me, us, our home.

I have also failed to share my opinion of this or that because I fear my email will explode with hate mail.


I obviously need to get over that because in this day and age, you can post a recipe and there will always be a person or two that will have something negative to say.

With that being said, I'm going to share something messy that happened over this weekend.

Yesterday morning, our dear friend, who lives upstairs and is also our landlord, informed us that she was making empanadas for dinner and having a backyard fire afterward. Her sister, brother-in-law, and nephews would be there as well.

She wanted Lisa and me to be there too.

Originally, we had planned on having a "No Plans" weekend, but despite that, we said yes. A scrumptious dinner, company, and backyard fire sounded blissful.

About an hour later, I was going through my social media feeds.

Something that was kind of a big deal caught my attention.

Lisa and I were officially Great Aunts.

The catch?

We had become Great Aunts TWO days ago.

No one had called to inform us.

I had to find out about it on Facebook.

At the time, Lisa was running an errand.

I knew that when I broke the news, she'd be crushed. Not crushed that we were officially Great Aunts, but having to find out on Facebook TWO days after the fact.

I relayed the news to Lisa.

I had to witness the look on her face. Then, the quick transformation from crushed to pretending it didn't bother her that no one thought to let us know.

It shattered my heart.

It was kind of like when my Mom decided to call me two days AFTER my Grammy passed away to let me know. 

I could tell the news bothered Lisa because she immediately went from taking it easy that afternoon to doing everything in her power to keep busy and distracted.

I decided to share that story with our dear friend.

And to let her know that even though we were grateful for the invite earlier, we were even more grateful for it now.

Much needed.

Because, after all, the word family doesn't just apply to those who are blood-related.

We had a wonderful time last night. The food was out of this world. The conversations were awesome. Many laughs. A few adult beverages.

I think we all put the world on mute for a bit.

I probably wouldn't have shared that story had my editor not said to me what she did. Because, I wouldn't have thought is was relavant.

But, it is.

It's all part of the intricate weave that makes up Our Bodacious Dog Mom Life. The good. The bad. The pretty. The ugly. The uncomfortable stuff. The messy stuff.

We're both human.

Just. Like. You. And you. And you.

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