Saturday, September 23, 2017
We Have Kids. Two Sons. Two Daughters. It Shouldn't Matter If They're "Dogs"
The other day, I was chatting in the virtual world with an acquaintance of mine. I've known her for quite some time. She occasionally reads this blog and keeps up with my Facebook posts and our Bodacious Biscuit Love and Our Bodacious Dog Mom Life Facebook page. I appreciate her candid nature and aversion towards beating around the bush. At times, she's crossed my proverbial line, but I've never allowed myself to be caught off guard.
That's pretty much sums up our relationship in a nutshell.
During our chat, she ranted a bit about something that was bothering her. Here's a brief excerpt from our conversation...
"Okay, so I can deal with certain terms like fur-kids, furry kids, pup kids, rescue fur-kids, foster kids, and doggy kids. But, don't you think it's taking it too far over the top when you refer to them as your kids or son or daughter?"
The first thing that came to my brain was, "Nope. Not at all."
The second thing to surface in my brain was, "Nope. Not at all."
The third thought to enter my brain was, "Nope. Not at all."
I wasn't offended by her question. In fact, it made me think. On this blog site, I refer to Coco, Sophie, Lobo, and Willa as our kids. On the Bodacious Biscuit Love blog site, I refer to them as our fur-kids. The same holds true for the Facebook pages and my personal Facebook page.
I need to stop doing that.
In order to stop doing that, I had to reflect on why I use various and separate terms depending on where I'm posting or publishing.
Why?
That was a hard question to ask and answer.
While I don't have a concrete answer, I know where it stems from.
Too often, we've been criticized because we refer to "our dogs" as kids or sons and daughters. I was fed up with the haste and having to defend our choices.
I was sick and tired of people making comments about our choice not to have human kids.
I was frustrated with the reactions from friends and family each time our family got a little bit bigger. And, that was always followed with the big question that resonated in my brain...
"Would they have the same reaction if our family got bigger with human kids instead of furry kids?"
We never asked. We probably never will.
More thoughts followed...
As a work at home Dog Mom, I found myself getting increasingly irritated by people's assumptions that I spent my days "doing arts and crafts" and "playing with my dogs all day."
Being a work at home Dog Mom isn't easy. It's not glamorous. Truthfully, it's the hardest work I've ever done in my entire life.
It has also been the most rewarding.
I understand there's a lot of people, including friends and family, who don't get it. We have one family member who has invited us to visit several times, but it's always followed with, "You can bring one dog if you'd like."
Dog?
One?
For us, that's not an option especially when the commute time alone is over 5 hours round-trip. This is why Lisa makes the journey alone while I stay here with the kids.
This is also why we've become adamant about the road traveling both ways. If Lisa can leave early in the morning, drive 2 1/2 hours one way, visit for most of the day, and make the 2 1/2 drive back home, so can everyone else.
There were more questions. Very few answers. However, after taking the time to ponder the questions and gaining more perspective, I realized it wasn't about answering questions or catering to people's level of comfort.
Truth is, Coco, Sophie, Lobo, and Willa are our kids. We have 2 sons and 2 daughters.
I don't care what you or anyone else thinks about that.
I'm tired of using a myriad of terms in order to cater to everyone's comfort levels.
That's going to end. Now.
You can disagree.
You can ridicule the fact that we refer to "our dogs" as kids, sons, and daughters.
At the end of the day, I couldn't F-Bomb care less.
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