Monday, July 24, 2017

10 Things You Shouldn't Say To A Dog Parent

Although my tongue isn't sugar coated and the words I speak are candid, I do believe some things are better left unsaid. Some situations warrant a little thought as to how a question, statement or opinion might be received. It is never my intention to offend or come across as judgmental. There's a time and place for no-holds-barred.

As we all know, there are some who haven't quite mastered the fine art of tact. These people will be the first to loudly suggest a healthier option on the menu after you order a double bacon cheeseburger with fries. As your face displays several shades of crimson, they'll throw out a comment about muffin tops or ask how many times you've used the gym membership they gave you for Christmas.

Fun times.

As Dog Moms, we've been the recipient of numerous comments and questions that have left us bug eyed. Despite my best attempt at a poker face, it's visually obvious someone has crossed the line.

Are there things you probably shouldn't say to a dog parent? Yes.

1. Maybe if you used a better window cleaner, you wouldn't have streaks or dried grime. I'm aware of the splotches. In this house, we refer to those as nose art.

2. Do you own a lint brush? No. Dog fur is a permanent part of our wardrobe. If it's offensive, you probably shouldn't sit on our sofa, love seat or chair. Or, maybe you should just leave.

3. They make vacuums that are specifically for dog hair. Yes. I know. A regular vacuum works just as well too. We have 4 pup kids. Light colored fur. Dark carpets. We vacuum every day. A "specialty" vacuum wouldn't make our life easier or control the amount of shedding.

4. The barking would drive me crazy. The sound of a screeching child having a temper tantrum in Target is more irritating than our 4 kids barking in unison when someone knocks on the door.

5. If I had dogs, they wouldn't be allowed on the furniture or bed. How sad. Our kids sleep peacefully and sound when they're snuggled in bed with us. It's comforting...for all of us.

6. Maybe if you didn't have so many dogs you'd get out more or be able to go on vacation. Probably. However, we love our life just the way it is and we wouldn't change a thing. We knew our choice to never board our kids would limit our activities and vacation choices, but we're okay with that.

7. I'll never understand why people talk to their dogs like they're kids. Dogs understand what we say. They listen. I talk to our kids quite frequently. I ask them questions. They tilt their head. We communicate. It's quite amazing.

8. Aren't you afraid of getting sick when they lick your face? No. That thought has never crossed my mind. We embrace those juicy kisses. Neither one of us has ever gotten sick from furry kid kisses. However, if I had a dime for every time I've gotten sick after being in a room full of toddlers...

9. People spoil their dogs way too much and treat them like they are actual kids. At this point, I just need to walk away.

10. There's always an odor in a home that has dogs. Could someone explain this one? Every home has a scent and it fluctuates. If I'm baking biscuits, our home smells like warm peanut butter. If I'm making homemade pizza, it smells like a hole-in-the-wall Italian eatery. Sometimes I simmer wax tarts and our home smells like whatever scent I felt like using. Once a month, when we bathe our kids, it smells like wet dog. What's your point?!

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