Thursday, April 6, 2017

As Moms, We Just Do It. Unconditionally.

An acquaintance of mine, who obviously reads this blog and keeps up with my personal Facebook page, reached out the other day. Her message started out with the usual greeting. Then, she threw in a few compliments about the fur-kid and food porn photos I frequently post and how much she's entertained by my not-so-graceful moments. I was almost on the verge of being delighted by her thoughtful message. Then, I read the last paragraph.

"I read your dog mom blog several times a week and I see your Facebook posts. It seems like the month of March was a big mess for you and nothing went as planned. Is this because you adopted Willa? If so, do you regret your decision? Are you going to keep her? I hope things get better."

What? Huh?

Over the years, I've received all types of emails and messages ranging from compliments all the way to people saying I should jump off a cliff.

I've got thick skin.

But, this?

At first glance, it's not offensive. Some of you may even wonder why that short paragraph earned an entire blog column response.

As a Dog Mom, it crosses a line. It insinuates that we would consider not keeping her. 

I wasn't going to reply to the message, but after a short break from my desk, and giving all of our kids a kiss and belly rub, I decided to reply.

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to reach out. I appreciate the kind words about my Dog Mom blog and Facebook photos.

I'll be honest, I was thrown off a bit with the last paragraph of your message. As someone who keeps up with my Dog Mom blog, you should know that I take being a Dog Mom very seriously.

Over the years, our family has grown. With each addition, our life has changed. We knew it would. We've had to make sacrifices. There have been obstacles. And, the first few months are always the most challenging while they decompress, settle in, our other kids bond with them, and they adjust to our routine.

At no point in time, despite these obstacles, medical issues, disabilities, or whatever else surface, did we regret our decision or consider removing them from our family. In fact, I despise people who choose that route.

When we decide to adopt another kid, that's it. There's no going back. It's permanent. It's unconditional.

Over the past few years, I've taken notice to your Facebook posts. One of your children has a world of allergies to the point where it's debilitating.  In addition to medical costs, trips to specialists, medications, and their list of allergies expanding, you've also had to spend a great deal of time making sure they don't come in contact with life threatening foods and other allergens.

Throughout your child's life, I'm sure you've had to cancel plans, miss out on things, make sacrifices, and rearrange your schedule because of appointments and such.

At any point in time between birth and now, has anyone ever come forth and asked if you regretted having this child? Have they asked if you thought about "giving them away?" Probably not. And, I'm sure those thoughts have never crossed your mind. Why? Because that is your child and, as their Mom, you do whatever it takes. Unconditionally.

The same holds true for our kids. We've forked out a lot of money for medical expenses and prescriptions. We've missed out on things. We've had to cancel plans. Like with you, that's just the tip of the iceberg.

But, as Moms, we just do it.

Sure, the month of March was chaotic. Nothing went as planned. But, I honestly can't think of a week where my schedule went as planned. And, when each of our kids joined our family, the month of and the month or so after didn't go as planned either.

But, as Moms, we just do it. And, we take it day by day by day.


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