Friday, April 22, 2016

The Month Of May Will Be A Test Of My Willpower

The weather today was absolutely gorgeous. Shortly after Lisa arrived home from work, we took the kids outside for playtime. We were in no rush to go back inside. I could have stayed outdoors with the kids until the sun went down, however, I had a few work things to finish up, cupcakes and cookies to bake for a surprise 50th birthday party we're attending tomorrow and dinner to prep for Lisa and I and the kids.

There are very few things in this world more therapeutic than basking in the sun without being weighed down with tech devices.

I needed this therapy. Lately, I've been feeling extremely overwhelmed. I touched on that a bit over at our Bodacious Biscuit Love blog site. You can update yourself here. It's not a long read.

My state of being overwhelmed has been accompanied by a few other things. It's been brewing over the past month or so.

I can count on one hand how many times I've felt like this in my life time. The trigger is uncertain and can range anywhere from a conversation I had with someone or a major life event. I'm often unaware of the precise moment. What I do know is when the trigger surfaces, great big changes happen. Good changes. A refreshed sense of focus. Nothing bad has ever resulted. It's all good stuff.

However, between point A (awareness) and point B (the end results), there's a lot of work involved. Lots. Of. Work.

I'm at that point.

I feel as if I'm  going through a metamorphosis of sorts. I'm shedding the old and growth is happening. At first, I blamed the full moon. Then, there's talk about several planets being aligned and the term "retrograde" came up. I kept thinking, "This will pass..." However, it's not. It hasn't.

This in itself has been a distraction. I've sat on the sofa and at my desk several nights just thinking. Reflecting. Trying to make sense of it all.

I know why I'm feeling overwhelmed. I have too many things started. Blankets. Totes. Bandannas. Lists of ideas I was to move forth with. Scribbled notes on my desk. Etc.

I keep adding to it, but nothing is ever finished. It's not because I have lost interest or I have issues following through. It's quite the opposite. I'm awake 20 hours a day working on this or that. I'm always doing something. I have every intention of tending to this project or that, but I never quite get there.

That has to stop.

I need to tighten the reigns on my schedule including the weekend. That's a given and the most obvious. More so, and the not so obvious, I need to take a good look at the underlying issues. This would include who and what is getting my attention. What's weighing me down. What's distracting me. What and who am I allowing to deviate me from my path of productivity.

My wife, our kids and the handful of friends who we consider family, and what I do for them, are solid. They will always have my time, efforts and I will drop what I'm doing if any should need me.

At this point, it's uncomfortable. Now, I have to address the other stuff. I'm only one person. I have to stop jumping off course for people I only hear from when they need or want something. I need to work on reacting to the BS, hate and other propaganda on Facebook. I need to stop kicking myself in the ass for the times I said yes when I should have said no. I also need to stop caring about what's not happening and focus on what is happening.

I've already set forth some definitive plans. For the entire month of May I'm not taking on any new tasks, work or plans. The operative word is new. If I've already committed to something or someone in May, you're safe.

I'm focusing entirely on unfinished stuff. Going forth with ideas and plans. Getting the good stuff out there...the stuff that's currently sitting unfinished in the biscuit room and on my desk.

It's rather cut and dry.

This will certainly be a test of my willpower.

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