The Guilt Laden Piece Of Pumpkin Pie

When I was a little girl, around 3-4, I can remember my mother's adoration for Fanny Farmer chocolate. Back then, which was almost 4 decades ago, she'd get her fix at the Fanny Farmer store nestled in the mall. She ordered one thing and one thing only. Plain milk chocolate pieces. These pieces resembled large triangles from a massive milk chocolate bar that had been broken up. They were placed in a small white paper bag.

I could always tell when she dug into her Fanny Farmer white paper bag because her breath smelled like chocolate. Her favorite time to get her fix was during my nap time.

In the here and now, I've lost track how many parents to human kids confess to having a stash of candy, or other treats, they keep hidden from the little ones. Indulgence begins after the human kids are fast asleep. As a dog Mom I have no shame in admitting, once in a blue moon, I have those same moments. We're not excluded from those little stashes of indulgences.

This was mine not too long ago. Pumpkin pie. Despite my dire need for a peaceful all-to-myself-alone treat, there was a little guilt.

Okay...a lot of guilt. 

As I put bite after bite of glorious pumpkin pie in my mouth, piled with a mile-high mountain of Reddi Wip, I couldn't help but think of our kids.

Who, at the time, were fast asleep, in bed, with Lisa.

Coco, Sophie and Lobo love Reddi Wip. They also love pumpkin pie. It's a seasonal treat we allow them once in a while. With each forkful of pumpkin pleasure, a myriad of thoughts raced through my brain.

Sophie's Reddi Wip covered mouth after she gets her share.

The way Coco's ears perk up and bend at the tips when he really wants something we're eating.

Lobo's please-give-me-a-taste dance.

How the kid's faces soften when we're eating something they want. It melts my heart.

As these thoughts invaded my brain, I ate faster and faster to escape the guilt. I wanted to finish before I deemed myself the world's shittiest dog mom. I could have eaten this earlier when the kids were awake. Why did I wait? What kind of person am I? What mother does this?

Sigh.

I can't be the only one, right?!?! I'm not the only dog Mom who has tried to sneak through a room where the kids are sleeping with a snack in hopes they don't hear...or smell the goods, right?! I'm not the only one who has eaten the last 5 carrot sticks, only to have my cheeks looking like a squirrel, while the kids make their way to my feet glaring at me.

"Mom, what have you done?"

Hello?

Sigh.