Tuesday, June 26, 2018

If Our Kids Could Speak In Human Tongue, They'd Have A Few Things To Share...

Several times a day one or all of our kids will look at me inquisitively. Heads tilted. Ears perched. There's a reason for this. As a Work at Home Dog Mom, I don't get out much. I'm home alone during the day. My weirdness and unique personality tend to surface after I've had my first cup of coffee.

If our kids could speak in human tongue, they'd probably have a few interesting things to say about their Work at Home Mom...

1. I burst out in song and dance periodically. My favorite song to blurt out is 'Baby Love' by Regina. The chorus line. That's often accompanied by The Carlton Dance. Lisa and I often refer to the kids as our baby loves. The song seems fitting.

2. I pace. A lot. I do this for a lot of reasons. When I'm frustrated. During a bout of writer's block. To break free from a sitting position. When I'm overwhelmed with the amount of work I have to do. The list goes on. Pacing from room to room to room helps with all of the above.

3. I eat peanut butter with a spoon. I don't eat breakfast or lunch. Throughout the day, I'll snack on a few crackers or a handful of blue corn chips. Sometimes, I need the power of peanut butter.

4. I talk to myself. Most of the time, reading what I've written or trying to compose paragraphs in my head silently doesn't cut it. I read out loud. I form sentences into paragraphs out loud. I come up with ideas out loud. A lot of times, what I'm thinking in my head tends to roll off my tongue. Out. Loud.

5. I eat too much ice. Glass after glass after glass.

6. I have a lot of daily conversations with the kids. A lot of their head tilts happen when I ask them questions.

7. I sing in the shower. True story.

8. I cry. Sometimes it's a few times a week. Sometimes, it's none. A lot can contribute to this. Frustration with certain situations outside of our home. PMS. Peri-Meno symptoms. Exhaustion. A sad song. Thinking about a loved one who has passed away. Going through our wedding photos. An inspirational email or message from a friend. Etc.

9. I'll rant at my desk. At least once a day I see something online that pisses me off. Yes. I will blurt out how I feel immediately. F-Bombs and all.

10. My daily exercise routine is very unconventional. Awkward dance moves. Belly dancing. My version of yoga, pilates, and Zumba. It works for me.

11. I'll eat certain foods in embarrassing amounts if they're in our home. Red or black Twizzlers. Spicy marinated mushrooms. Vegetarian Kimchi. Laffy Taffy. Nerds. Homemade pickles. Starburst. Pepperocini.

12. Grace is not my middle name. I've sustained a lot of minor injuries from my not-so-graceful moments. These accidents range anywhere from tripping over a chew bone to face planting the floor in order to avoid one of the kids when they run in front of me. Yep. I have a reputation of being that person who needs to be wrapped in bubble wrap.

No comments:

Post a Comment