Tuesday, November 17, 2015

10 Things You Probably Shouldn't Say To A Dog Mom

Although my tongue isn't sugar coated and the words I speak are candid, I do believe some things are better left unsaid. Some situations warrant a little thought as to how a question, statement or opinion might be received. It is never my intention to offend or come across as judgmental. On the other hand, and in all fairness, there is a time and place for no-holds-barred.

As we all know, there are some who haven't quite mastered the fine art of tact. These people will be the first to loudly suggest a healthier option on the menu after you order a double bacon cheeseburger with fries. As your face displays several shades of crimson, they'll throw out a comment about muffin tops or ask how many times you've used the gym membership they gave you for Christmas.

Fun times.

As dog Moms we've been the recipient of numerous comments and questions that have left us bug eyed. Despite my best attempt at a poker face, it's visually obvious someone has crossed the line.

Are there things you probably shouldn't say to a dog Mom? Yes. Lots.

This is just the tip of the iceberg...

1. Maybe if you used a better cleaner, your windows wouldn't look so dirty. I'm aware of the splotches and smudges. In this house, we refer to those as nose art.

2. Do you own a lint brush? No. Dog fur is a permanent part of our wardrobe. If you find that offensive or bothersome, you probably shouldn't sit on our sofa or chair. Or, maybe you should just leave.

3. They make vacuums that are specifically for dog hair. Yes. I know. A regular vacuum works just as well too. Three fur-kids. Light colored fur. Dark carpets. We vacuum every evening. A "specialty" vacuum wouldn't change that.

4. The barking would drive me crazy. The sound of a screeching child having a temper tantrum in Target is more irritating than our 3 fur-kids barking in unison when someone knocks on the door.

5. If I had dogs, they wouldn't be allowed on the furniture or bed. How sad. Our kids sleep peacefully when they're snuggled in bed with us. It's comforting...for all of us.

6. Maybe if you didn't have so many dogs you'd get out more or be able to go on vacation. Probably. However, we love our life just the way it is and we wouldn't change a thing. We knew our choice to adopt 3 rescue kids would limit our activities and vacations would be a thing of the past, but we're okay with that.

7. I'll never understand why people talk to their dogs like they're kids. Dogs understand what we say. They listen. I talk to our kids quite frequently. I ask them questions. They tilt their head. We communicate. We have conversations. It's quite amazing.

8. Aren't you afraid of getting sick when they lick your face? No. That thought has never crossed my mind. We embrace those juicy kisses. Neither one of us has ever gotten sick from fur-kid kisses. However, if I had a dime for every time I've gotten sick after being in a room full of toddlers...

9. People spoil their dogs way too much and treat them like they're actual kids. At this point, I just need to walk away.

10. There's always an odor in a home that has dogs. Could someone explain this one? Every home has a scent and it fluctuates. If I'm baking dog biscuits, our home smells like warm peanut butter. If I'm making homemade pizza, it smells like a hole-in-the-wall Italian eatery. Sometimes I simmer wax tarts and our home smells like whatever scent I felt like using. Once a month, when we bathe our kids, it smells like "wet dog". What's your point?!

No comments:

Post a Comment