Saturday, February 23, 2019

A Person Who Feels Appreciated Will Always Do More Than Expected

When I was growing up, my parents were very strict about manners and extending gratitude. It was always please and thank you. When I received gifts for birthdays and holidays and other special occasions, before I could enjoy the gift or spend the money, I had to write a thank you note. I have many memories of sitting at the kitchen table writing out thank you notes and cards.

My parents led by example. If a friend or neighbor helped out with a project or offered a service, my parents extended gratitude. Whether it was a platter of fresh baked cookies, a homecooked meal or a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant, they made sure that the people who assisted them felt appreciated.

Lisa's parents instilled the same lessons when she was growing up. You say please and thank you. You appreciate the people who spend their time and money on you. You take the time to extend gratitude.

This is something we have both carried with us throughout our adult life.

One of many, many examples is a couple of neighbor friends of ours who live across the street. They're older than us.

Old enough to be my parents. 

Over the years, during the winter months, when we've been pounded with snow in the morning and early afternoon hours, while shoveling and snow blowing their driveway, they'll do the same for our driveway. They know I work during the day and Lisa is at work.

On those occasions, along with the many, many other times they've assisted us, we've always extended our gratitude. Fresh baked goodies. Homemade bread. Dinner. Etc.

On the flip side, they do the same for us. For the past 6 years, when they go on day trips, weekend trips, or lengthy vacations, we house and pet sit for them. We've never charged them for this service because they do a lot for us.


They give us a generous "daily tip" to extend their gratitude. They trust us with their furry kids and home and they know that's a rarity in this day and age. They have a deep appreciation for the fact that they can go on vacation and not have to worry about anything. That means the world to them and their gratitude reflects that.

As we have gotten older, we've noticed that the younger generation and beyond do not embrace these morals and values.

They take.

They expect.

They don't ask first.

They very seldom say please and thank you.

They don't follow through with extending gratitude.

They just assume you're going to do something.

They don't tip.

Their lack of appreciation will often make people feel as if they're being taken advantage of.

They often times have no concept of how much you do for them's all about them and their adventures and hardships.

One of the mantras that Lisa and myself have embraced over our lifetime, especially because of how we were raised and because we've been in management for so many years, is this...

"A person who feels appreciated will always do more than expected."

Think about that for a minute or 2 or 3...

Think about a time when you went out of your way to assist someone whether it be a coworker who's working on a big project or a neighbor who's tackling renovations.

When all was said and done, your coworker or neighbor took the time to extend their gratitude. They let you know how much your time and efforts were appreciated. Maybe they took you out for dinner or surprised you with a bouquet of flowers and a gift card to your favorite restaurant.


Think about a time when you did the same thing and got no response.

As in...

Your coworker took all the credit and glory and rewards for completing the big project. They didn't say thank you or recognize you or acknowledge your helping hand.


The neighbor you assisted with renovations sailed on that same non-appreciative boat.

Compare the difference.

It's okay to do that.

That does not land you in the bucket of doing good things with expectations of getting something in return.

As I'm typing this, I'm reminded of a situation a couple of years ago during the Christmas season of 2017.

We needed new breaks for our vehicle. In addition, Lisa needed new glasses. This was all on top of assisting pet parents in need and assisting a few families who had fallen on hard times during the holiday season. We had also opened our doors for Thanksgiving and Christmas to those who had no place to go. And, we hosted a Holiday Love and Cheer Party for our friends who were having a difficult time over the holiday season.

A friend of ours who is a professional mechanic volunteered to do our breaks. We just had to pay for the parts and $50 for services.

That was over 50% off what the dealership quoted us.

Our friend does professional mechanic work on the side at his home for supplement income. He's a hard worker. A family man.

We said yes.

When he returned our vehicle after the work was done, with his wife assisting, we gave him a very generous tip, a platter of cookies, and a pound of gourmet coffee to extend our gratitude. Hugs all the way around. He told us that he'd be more than happy to provide services to us in the future as needed.

This is what I'm talking about...

"A person who feels appreciated will always do more than expected."

We didn't give a generous tip and cookies and coffee so he would offer future services. We did it because we appreciated his time. His efforts. His generosity. His services. His simplicity. His dedication to being a hard worker to provide for his family.

For this reason, we will always go to him first before spending our money at a big chain location or dealership.

At this point, all I can say is this.

To the younger generations who have yet to grasp these concepts...

Listen up...

If you have people in your life, especially the elders, who are always there at a moments notice. Who are always there to assist. Who you trust with your home and furry kids. Or, your hair, nails, car, etc.

You've got it good...

Appreciate those people.

It doesn't matter if it's a one time thing or something you have pre-arranged.

Tip. Appreciate. Extend the gratitude. Don't just assume they'll always be there to provide services for you. Never just leave without leaving something.

And, once again, never forget...

"A person who feels appreciated will always do more than expected."

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