Friday, December 16, 2016

I'm Baking. Exhaling. Sipping Wine. Flirting With The What Ifs.

Yep. This. My soul needs a bit of a break today after the darkness and imbalance yesterday. I'm baking. Breathing. Exhaling. Looking forward to seeing a couple of sweet humans from our Bodacious Community later this afternoon. Putting together the donations from our fundraiser for a special family who fell on hard times and buying their Christmas dinner and other groceries. Spreading biscuit love to pet parents in need. And, a few Christmas baskets to spread some cheer.

It's one of those days when I don't feel like talking. I have nothing to say. Lisa didn't ask why I was so quiet when she called during her lunch break. She knew. We're both feeling it.

The kids know my heart is heavy. They've been clinging to me since I got up early this morning. I've sat on the floor with them several times. Gave them extra snuggles.

I'm fighting the urge to think about it, but I know I have to. The what ifs. Uncle Carl and Aunt Sally were getting ready for Christmas. They had plans. They purchased gifts. They were living life.

Then, Uncle Carl had a heart attack and shortly after, he died. There was no warning. No one knew that they only had minutes left to say all that needed to be said. No last hug. No last kiss.

This is when the what ifs surface. And, you know where I'm going with this so I won't elaborate.

I can't elaborate.

I can't even imagine.

If this isn't a hardcore reality check that the people you love can be taken from you just like that, I don't know what is.

If this isn't a hardcore reality check that your life can drastically change within minutes, I don't know what is.

Today, I'm exhaling. Taking a break from the rush, the chaos, the stress, and work stuff.

I'm making a simple dinner of homemade chicken soup and biscuits for dinner.

Family snuggle time and Netflix will end our evening.

This is my goodness for today. My fight song of sorts. My therapy. Work can wait until tomorrow.

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